Inklings Into Ideas

One of many swallows flitting about near the Science Library

It was even colder today than yesterday – but I made do with three layers of sweaters. We had breakfast all together in Wilson Hall and then broke into panels with four young people who were farther along in their Action Plans than we were. I was amazed by the range of ideas and the amount of success that these people had – and they had started out just like me! One young woman had started out with the simple idea of raising awareness of the genocide in Darfur and ended up representing the entire North American continent in talks about legislation in Europe through a large nonprofit organization.

After we asked questions of the panelists, we split into our content-specific areas. I was worried that my plan wouldn’t quite fit in with the “Identity” group, which is where I was placed, and I was debating whether I should switch to the “Conflict/Violence Resolution” group. But Lexi (the organizer of the Symposium) and Dean Rose allayed my fears, and I stayed in the “Identity” group. That turned out to work really well, since the main leader of the content group is the director of the LGBTQ resource center here at Brown. The woman helping her lead the content group emphasized that she wanted us to keep in touch so that we would have a continued support line, so I’ll definitely do that.

Two other students had Action Plans relating to LGBTQ issues. Moriah from Cleveland is trying to hold a benefit concert to raise money to buy or rent space for a youth LGBTQ center. David from upstate New York is working on generally strengthening his school’s Acceptance Coalition (similar to El Cerrito’s Gay-Straight Alliance). The others ranged from working on issues of body image, gender inequality, trust among young women, and interfaith youth groups. Just by talking about and troubleshooting each other’s plans, we learned so much that we could apply to our own. At lunch (I had a slice of exotic black bean-avocado pizza on Thayer Street), I stuck with most of the students from the content group and got another chance to talk to them in person about the differences and similarities between our strategies.

L-R: Irene (myself), David, Moriah

The next workshop that I was signed up for was titled “Transitioning Your Project.” There we discussed how to pass on leadership to people that will continue working on our projects after we can’t anymore (because of college, new schedules, etc.). Again, towards the end we returned to troubleshooting our individual Plans and learned from each other. I frantically wrote down notes and completely covered 4 pages in blue ink. The ideas ranged from ways to motivate and identify emerging leaders in a group to making a binder with all the information for our organization to pass on to the next person in charge. The third workshop was focused on communication and how to effectively convince different audiences to be involved with our projects. That was also helpful but we didn’t have time to discuss our individual Plans with our peers. It also didn’t delve as deep into the subject as the other two, so I personally didn’t enjoy it as much. However, even during the third workshop I was jotting down ideas every few seconds.

After a quick break and a stop back at the inn where we are staying, it was time for dinner. Dinner was relatively uneventful, but I did sit with the group of friends that I met during the summer and two new friends.

At dinner - Lindsey, Safiya, Lina, and I were all in the same Women and Leadership class this summer. I met Emma and Nora this weekend.

Before going back to the inn for homework and rest, most of the people at my dinner table and I went on a quest to find chocolate cake for sale somewhere on Thayer Street. We failed miserably (partly because it was about 8 PM by then) but enjoyed some Ben & Jerry’s instead. Later we ended up sitting in a circle at the end of the hall in the inn, helping each other with homework like calculus and advanced Spanish while sharing our favorite songs.

Whimsical decorations on chairs at Ben & Jerry's

I loved the past 30 hours or so at Brown, but I have so many ideas for my Action Plan jumping around in my brain that I can’t wait to get back to El Cerrito and start working on them. I’m so, so, so thankful that I got to be here and be involved with the whole Brown Leadership Institute community.

Coming Together for Change - My Final Reflection

What's unique about the Women and Leadership course at Brown is that they don't only teach leadership skills for young women, but also social responsibility and a truly open mind. An open mind doesn't just mean being respectful of ideas other than your own, but honestly trying to see things from a different perspective. It means treating others as you would like to be treated in every way, even though initially they may seem so different from yourself. That's what I learned firsthand inside and outside the classroom at Brown.

I wasn't so concerned about being on the East Coast, because I've been there before to visit family. What really hit me was meeting people who were truly from all around the world. We each had different ideas because we were individuals, but more often than not, we were essentially the same in one respect: we all were at Brown because we wanted to change the world for the better, starting with ourselves.

My self-confidence has increased exponentially throughout the course of the program. I think that self-confidence is the make-it-or-break-it factor in leaders and in anybody who wants to be successful in life. It also means being comfortable with yourself - with your heritage, your skills, your interests, and your ambitions. No matter what the external obstacles may be, self-confidence always has to be there so that you can move past them.

The final project in the Women and Leadership course was my Action Plan to implement interactive peer presentations in classrooms to combat homophobia. By moving this plan forward, I will not only improve my school and community, but put into practice my improved leadership skills. I've seen how it's possible for an incredibly diverse group to come together and support each other through difficult times. I always thought that "coming together" was a cliche that didn't actually happen in real life, but I was proven wrong. I want to bring this feeling back to my community so that everyone can learn just like I did.

Looking toward my own future, I'm very excited about getting placed with a mentor who is an alumnus of Brown University. Everyone who I've talked to who has gone to Brown is a very accomplished yet humble person who is focused on helping. I know that I can learn a lot from an older and more experienced person who comes from that kind of background, and I'm looking forward to it.

I want to help in my own way. Hopefully, I can continue to get guidance from the Brown Leadership Institute through the Symposium for Social Action. Students from summer@Brown will share how they have progressed on their Action Plans during the weekend of November 5-7. I know that the ILC can help me attend, and I'll do my best on my end by helping my community in the ways I've outlined above.

I want to thank everyone who has helped me get to this point. No matter how small the contribution may be, I am incredibly grateful to you all for this amazing experience.

I Surprised Myself

When I first came into this program, I thought that I was really open-minded. However, I slowly realized that the Women and Leadership program at Brown would challenge me intellectually and emotionally more than I had thought it would, and make me even more understanding of all kinds of diversity.

I thought I had my mind mostly made up on what feminism was and what leadership was, but we attacked these issues from all possible angles, and Kisa let everyone come to their own conclusions. All the professors, the TAs, the RAs, the Leadership Fellows, the staff, and the students were so approachable. Nobody ever told us, "this is the way it is because I said so," or "this is the way it is because it's written in a textbook." I really love that way of learning. As Mercedes Domenech said, in the end it doesn't matter so much what you're learning as long as you expand your horizons and learn how to see the world in a different light. I was surprised about the program and about myself in the best way possible.

I also realized that I can't be a "supergirl." I can't be perfect and I can't do everything perfectly, but I can certainly try. I will try. If I make a mistake I won't dwell on it, but learn from it. I will concentrate on doing what I love, whether it's skating, playing clarinet, or leading a community organization.

~Kisa gave us bracelets with inspirational words on them. Mine says "lead."~

I teared up so many times on the last day of class. Two weeks seemed much too short. I would be so incredibly happy if I could go back and learn in that environment again. Before this program, I never would have seriously considered applying to Brown, but now I will definitely apply to Brown and other highly selective universities.

I learned that there are still obstacles for women and for many other groups of people in the world, but that the final barrier to success is always one's own self-confidence.

If I believe in myself and others, and believe in our dreams, I'll surprise myself yet again. Thank you to everyone who made this experience possible for me.

Ethics, Hip-Hop, and Self-Defense

The ethics discussion that we ran out of time for yesterday was moved to today. We were presented with multiple ethical dilemmas and acted out how to deal with them in an effective, assertive way. I definitely think that the solutions were easier said than done.

I practiced presenting my Action Plan to a small group of classmates. They gave me feedback on the content and the delivery. I still need to give my presentation its final revision and copy some bullet points onto index cards.

Mariana and Ritika

I ate lunch extra quickly so that I could go back to class to see a short film about hypermasculinity in hip-hop. Most of the aggression in the lyrics is focused against other people who are suffering, not necessarily the oppressors. There is blatant objectification of women in the music, and it's different from the rest of American culture in that that's the only way that women are portrayed in hip-hop music videos. The worst insult against another man in hiphop is to tell them that they are feminine, yet there is some not-so-subtle homoeroticism in the way rappers often pose. I was getting very interested in it because I had never heard some of these views before, but unfortunately, we didn't get to finish the film. Hopefully we'll be able to finish it tonight at the evening social activity.

Tierra blocks "punches"

We had an interesting self-defense class in which we learned some basic techniques to defend ourselves and buy some time if we were physically threatened. We got some time to practice these techniques and hone our reaction times, too.

Ritika in action

The amazing RA and TA, My

I'm going to eat quickly and then see if I can take a nap before the evening activity. I'm exhausted.

~Later~

I didn't end up taking a nap, but I did finish two homework assignments and went to dinner. I'm going to revise my Action Plan and practice presenting for tomorrow, then go to the final socializing event - a dance/movie/game night/snack party, which is all one big event. It's exclusive to Leadership Institute students, and since Harkness (our dorm) is the only dorm for Leadership kids, it's taking place in the two lounges downstairs.

Just 15 minutes ago, I was in our last class bonding activity. We played a special game where  everyone closed their eyes except two people. My would say things like, "Touch three people who you respect and admire." We took turns being the people in the middle. I never knew that so many people appreciated me enough to tell me, even though it was anonymously and silently. I feel so much closer to all the girls now. It was just really cool. I can't imagine not keeping in touch with them after I leave.

A Breakthrough In My Thinking

We finished presenting the Amazing Women monologues today. My presentation went well - I felt like my legs were shaking the whole time, but I asked people later and nobody noticed at all. The other students asked several questions after my monologue about Rigoberta Menchu; I think her story came across as unique and interesting. Dean Rose came in as we were discussing the  Amazing Women as a group and asked what we had learned from their experiences. I volunteered my belief that they all pushed past both external and internal obstacles, and that the internal hurdle of self-confidence is the most important to conquer.

Kisa brought in a panel of professional women, which was very diverse. Their professions ranged from educators to doctors to leaders of community organizing groups. One of the women was rather soft-spoken, and I was almost surprised that someone quiet could be a successful leader. It was great to have role models that everybody in the room could relate to. Another brought her five-year-old daughter in and said that child-rearing was much harder than any career. Even those that did not have children said that it's important to stay connected to people that are important to you, such as mentors, family, and friends in order to keep a balanced life.

Today at 12:15, Lucero, Lupe, Lydia, Selene, and I made our way to the V-Dub. This was because last week, we (the ILC students at Brown) had arranged to have lunch with Mercedes Domenech of the Brown Admissions Department. We had met her 2 times before at ILC events, and she offered to answer any questions about the University or about admissions that we had. We learned more about the interviewing process and how students are selected. What stuck out was how she emphasized taking challenging courses in high school not just because they would look impressive, but because if we got accepted to Brown,  we wouldn't have distribution requirements or any required classes at all (excepting majors). Senior year is our last chance to show how much we love learning.

Mercedes also emphasized how important it is to study what you love even if it might not seem like it leads to a concrete career path. For example, Ruth Simmons, President of Brown University, holds a Ph.D. in French. Who would have projected her position now with her chosen field of study? Mercedes got me to think about how it doesn't matter as much what I choose to study, as long as I am educated in something and I know how to think and analyze. Undergraduate majors that are very specific are actually limiting because people may change their minds even if they initially think they're set on something.

I still have to finish my Action Plan paper and polish my Action Plan presentation, conduct another interview with a fellow student, catch up on my journal assignments for the past week, and meet with Ms. Stewart at 7 about the logistics of our departure. It's sad that we're already talking about leaving. In some ways I miss my family and others who are close to me, but in other ways I fear missing my friends, teachers, and mentors at Brown even more.

There's Always Someone There to Help

Today was the first day of the Amazing Women monologues. Everybody did very well, and we supported everyone if they felt nervous at all. Through listening, I learned things that I never knew before - for example, that Mother Teresa was Albanian by ethnicity and that Mary Wollstonecraft experienced all kinds of abuse at the hands of various men in her life.

We watched a film called about women in politics today, which brought attention to the shocking dilemma of the low numbers of women in national public office. The United States ranks 85th in the world in terms of female representatives, while developing countries such as Rwanda and Chile are making astonishing improvements with gender equality in political representation. Although Rwanda suffered through a devastating genocide in 1994, it has made great political and economic advances in recent years. 

Why hasn't the United States made such improvements? Jeanne Sheehan, former governor of New Hampshire and current US Senator, told her interviewer that she sees what's happening in other countries but that she believes change at home will happen slowly but surely. Anna Hidalgo, a former TA for Women and Leadership, led a debriefing after the film and urged us repeatedly to consider running for political office in the future. She told us that it is very hard to run for office, and that there's a 98% rate of success for incumbents, but that the biggest obstacle for women in public service is not the outside world, but their own lack of self-confidence. About 2/3 of men rate themselves as having basic leadership qualities, but women consistently rate themselves lower though they may have these qualities already.

Personally, I am very interested in political science, and I took her suggestions into serious consideration.

Here are two youth leaders named Kakeena Castro and Susan Anderson after their presentation to us. They introduced us to their organization, Youth in Action, which advocates for youth rights in the Providence area. They showed us a "Youth Bill of Rights", which asserted that, among various things, all youth should have access to free health care, healthy and enjoyable school lunches, a voice in the selection of their teachers and administration, and affordable public transportation. I agree with all those points. I wouldn't say that decisions should be left to youth and only to youth, but  I believe that we should be allowed to have input which should be valued by adults. Kisa serves on their joint adult-youth board and they stressed the importance of finding and utilizing mentors who can help you every step of the way. It opened my eyes to the fact that there's always someone there to help. I'm very glad that I heard these two women present.

After class, I went to the Partner Scholars gathering for Summer@Brown students who came here on a scholarship or with a group. It was lots of fun - we ate pizza while we asked questions of the 4 panelists who were all first-generation college students. I met Mo, who I believe is a Leadership Fellow here, and Soyoung, who is a student like me.

Another Fun, Busy Day

We started out the day by discussing the weekend's readings. We began in small groups and moved on to a discussion with the entire group. Kisa asked for a volunteer to facilitate the entire group, but I didn't raise my hand because I had just run our small group meeting. Just my luck - since nobody raised their hand at all, Kisa immediately chose me. I grinned and went up to the front of the class. The discussion went extremely well; I asked several open-ended questions and just directed the flow of conversation towards people who hadn't spoken up much before. Kisa stopped us when we ran out of time, and later she joked that I should be the one running the class!

Later we watched a short film in which young black children were shown two dolls - one black, one white - and asked to choose which one was better behaved, smarter, and prettier. In 15 out of 21 cases, the children picked the white doll. The clip illustrated how stereotypes become internalized both by those who are stereotyped and the rest of society.

The rest of class time was spent at the computer stations about a block away from our classroom. I finished all of my monologue, and I only have to rehearse to make sure that it's smooth. I learned a lot more about Rigoberta Menchu. I never knew that Spanish wasn't actually her first language, though she lived in Guatemala. She was Mayan, so she learned an indigenous dialect before Spanish. It shows that even if you have language barriers, you should still believe in yourself and your dreams. It was very nice to be able to use the practically new computers just by logging in with my Brown ID. I also quickly met with Kisa in order to go over my Action Plan once again. She thought it was a great idea, and I can't wait to present my idea to the panel on Friday. The whole process of research, preparation, and presentation will be exciting!

The evening activity consisted of watching a movie called "Iron Jawed Angels" about the women's suffrage movement. The pictures above show us getting ready to walk to the movie.

The movie was lots of fun. The soundtrack didn't seem to go with the movie, but it really brought my attention to how much the early women's rights pioneers truly struggled to gain what we have now. It's striking that only about 60-70% of women now utilize those rights to actually vote. I think that everyone who can should try to participate fully in our democracy.

When I was about to take a shower, I realized that I was almost out of clean clothes. I didn't want to forget to do laundry tomorrow, so I went down to the basement with Selene so that we could combine our loads. Unfortunately, the card reader connected to the washing machines was broken. We tried going into other dorms to do our laundry there, but we couldn't get in, and anyways the people who lived there said that their card readers were broken too. So we scrounged and exchanged money with people to finally get enough change to wash and dry two loads.

Today was a very productive yet enjoyable day. I hope tomorrow is just as good.

Action Plan, Monologue, Pizza, What Else Could There Be?

So much goes on in one day at Brown. For example, today I decided to sleep in for a bit so that I could rest a bit more. When the time came and I knew if I slept even a little bit more I would be late I woke up. Plus, I had to go to the library to go print out a summary of an interview I had conducted.

I walked all the way to and fro the Rockefeller Library where there are printers. Each black and white copy costs ten cents, not a bad price. The hard part of printing was figuring out how to do it. The librarian, one of the lady's on the front desk, and another nice woman who was printing where of great help. In the end, I was able to print and so I headed for class.

In class, we had discussions concerning our first interview and the assigned reading. Previous to the discussion Kisa, the professor, passed back our journals, which she had looked over and commented.

After our discussions we headed to the the CIT, Center Information Technology, so that we could use the computer for whatever we needed. Some people decided to work on their monologue, others their action plan. At the same time, that we were at the CIT we had to meet with Kisa in regards to our Action Plan.

We spent a great deal of time in the CIT, which was really awesome. They had both PC's and Mac's so that people could use them. When lunch came around we realized it had begun to rain, so we had to cancel our plans to go to the V-Dub and instead we had to go to the Sharpe Refectory. We all got a bit wet, some of us were not wearing the correct shoes or clothes and some of us did not even have an umbrella on us.

Once I went to see Kisa, she really questioned what I am planning to do, which really helped me identify the aspects that I still need to work on.

Class ended so I headed back to the dorms and started a bit of my reading assignment while it came time for our evening activity, which was to go watch "Iron Jawed Angels." The movie was only going to be shown to the Women and Leadership students because the other students in the leadership academy were going to watch their own movie depending on their class. For example, my friend Vanessa, was going to watch "Food Inc." because of her class called Food Fights. I also went to dinner and it was a blast. I even met a girl named Rebecca, or becca as she prefers. She told us all about herself and we introduced ourselves. She apparently will only be here for a week and today was her first day in class.

After dinner we only waited for a bit as 6:20 PM came and it was time to meet in front of Harkness in order to go watch the movie. I really liked the movie and it showed clearly the struggle of women to get the right to vote. In addition it showed the cruelty of peoples' response to this idea, especially that of men. I really disliked how the women were treated in prison and how the police completely abused of their power. They were incorrectly charged because they were not distracting traffic they were expressing their point of view. However, in the end it was great to hear that their efforts and sacrifices were worth it and women could vote.

When, the movie finished we went back to the dorm and as I was beginning to think about doing my reading, Irene came by and asked if I needed to do laundry. I really needed to and even though I was waiting for Vanessa to come back, so I could get my laptop from her room and do my blog, I left. I decided to ask Diana if she could please do me the favor of getting my laptop for me and then I would come and pick it up.

The only dilemma we faced for doing laundry was that the card reading machine was out of order, so we had to use quarters. In the end, we were able to get enough quarters. As we washed I read and had a conversation with Alexa, Irene's little sister.

For now I have to go to sleep so until next time!!

Fire in Water

Saturday I slept, ate, did homework inside, outside, and at the library, went to the city and went to a dance party.

The John D. Rockefeller library was amazing. I have never seen so many books in my life. Whenever I saw a really old book, I would touch the spine in amazement. That library is very cool and in tempter wise as well. Unlike the dorms, it has air conditioning. The science library has a very nice secluded section of Macs.

In the city, I saw a bunch of mini bonfires held in black cages placed in a river with Diana, my roommate, Selene, Bianchi, and I. The place was packed with people taking pictures and walking around. You could hear romantic music being played.

Dunkin’ Donuts gave out free samples to a mad crowd eager for free food/drink. The blue glop in a small clear plastic cup was not bad. Dunkin’ Donuts is quite the rage here in the East Coast.

After we watch the firelight reflecting in the dark water we walked back to Brown where there was a dance party for a fake wedding. It was Ok.

Today I did homework and laundry. On Saturday, I did Friday and Saturday’s reading assignments so today I only did Sunday's. I now know my action plan. After many of my ideas were slaughtered by logistics I was left with an area I could do. I talked to my Young Woman president from church on facebook as to what she saw was needed. She said trust and I formed my plan to invite everyone and play some trust games, of which I have played many. I hope that this will build trust.
I took this picture of myself by myself.

Food, Shopping, Library, Food, Meeting, and Interview

The title of my blog today pretty much sums my day up. I woke up pretty late, so I missed breakfast, on purpose, I really wanted to rest and plus after a week of pasta, potato, and bread you can get full. Now I am both seeing and realizing what Session One Brownies were talking about. Seriously, I am kind of getting tired of the food, but then again I have been eating the same thing everyday for the past seven or so days. It isn't that the food quality diminished it is more like my appetite is the one that is diminishing. I will start eating a more healthy diet instead of all those carbohydrates.

Continuing onto a more pleasant subject, I went to the library today more specifically the Rockefeller Library. It was huge with tons and maybe in reality tons of books. It was amazing and awing to walk through those aisles and see that all around me where books and more books. It was really quiet inside which gave it a much more studious feeling like all library's I have been to. The reason for my trip was not only to check it out, but in order to find some sources for my woman monologue project. The woman that I chose to do this project on is Dolores Huerta, who worked side by side with Cesar Chavez. She is not that well known, even though her contributions to the cause made an immense impact in the lives of agricultural workers today and that of future generations as well. Even though the library was pretty big the online catalog really helped me find the books I needed. The librarians, one of which I asked for help, was really nice and approachable person. She generously directed me towards the location of the book I sought. I spent quiet a long time there. I had initially arrived with Bianchi, but later joined up with Irene, Guadalupe, and Lucero. It took me some time to find the material I sought and some extra time to look over the books. While I was helping Guadalupe look for a book on Hispanics because she was looking for information on Sonia Sotomayor, which there was barely any to be exact Guadalupe only found one book. It is kind of weird because after all she is on the Supreme Court. Moving along at the library I took the time to call my teacher, Teresa Boardman, in order to schedule some time for me to interview her for a class project. She gladly agreed and we scheduled it for tonight. Then we, Lucero, Guadalupe, Irene, and I, headed for dinner at the V-Dub.

At the V-Dub we met up with Lydia, Vanessa, Diana, and Bianchi. Our dinner conversation was quiet entertaining and fun. However, then someone noticed that it was 6:45 PM and we had a meeting with our RA at 7:00 PM. We, Vanessa, Diana, Lucero, and I, bolted out the dining hall towards our dorm. We seriously hurried and fortunately got to our respective floors on time, which was 6:57 PM. That was really close timing. My meeting started late though because we had a three people come late and we needed everyone present.

Once at the meeting we all discussed our week, through the game Roses and Thorns. As can be assumed roses symbolize the pluses of the week and thorns the negatives. After, everyone got their turn we answered six questions which also pertained to our week. We answered the questions anonymously and then we read someone else's paper without knowing whose it was. Our RA, Priya listened carefully and asked questions and comments concerning the responses. She emphasized, due to the fact that some people reported feeling little support during free time, the need for us to be inclusive. From what people wrote and talked about they really are looking forward to having fun, like I am too. I am also thinking about my Action Plan which is due this week! After, the meeting Priya handed me an envelope and inside was an invitation for an event for the students that like I are here because of some program. The Ivy League Connection was actually listed as one of the programs, which is so cool. The event is to take place this Tuesday, so now I have plans for Tuesday too. I said "too" because on Wednesday we are to meet with Mercedes.

After, the meeting Lydia, Vanessa, Diana, Biachi, and I, went outside on the front lawn to study and hang out for a bit before curfew came. We ended up a bit worried because Vanessa got a bit sick, but luckily she got checked and everything was apparently well.

I then returned to my room to call my teacher back in Richmond, California for the interview. Before we actually got to it we talked a bit and it was terrific. It was great to hear her and it was a great experience to interview her. The interview concerned her perspective on women and leadership and I loved her answers.

Well for now I am of to sleep!!

So Much To Do, So Little Time (Plus, I Love Libraries!)

I slept until noon today. I woke up fully recovered from the past week and ready to hit the books. Lupe and I went by the V-Dub to grab lunch (because I missed breakfast) and walked up Thayer Street to buy some necessities at CVS. On the way there, we ducked into a small clothes store and saw this ridiculous sweater that had a useless zipper.

After having a good laugh about the silly sweater, we made our way back to the dorm to pick up backpacks and laptops. Today is an extra-warm day and we didn't want to be stuck in the dorms, so we walked to the John D. Rockefeller Library to do research for our Action Plans and our Amazing Woman monologues. I chose Rigoberta Menchu because I don't know much about her except that she was an important leader in indigenous rights. She also played basketball with my mom at 2 AM many years ago, and I've heard the story several times, so her name has been in the back of my head. Now I have the opportunity to learn much more about her and spread my knowledge.

This library has five floors and a seemingly endless supply of books. It's like heaven for me! I searched "Rigoberta Menchu" on the Brown online book catalog and almost 40 books showed up just on the first page. I wrote down most of them until I got to about the tenth one, then I realized that no matter how interesting they sound, I won't have time to read all of them. Instead, I went up to the third floor and found five books that were at the top of my list. I wish I could take this whole library with me everywhere I go. I would never be bored.

I'll spend the rest of the afternoon studying and doing research. At 7 PM, we have a floor meeting or a class meeting of some kind. I like the evening meetings, but in a way, they're a pain because they make it hard to do anything recreational in the evenings. There's a poetry slam going on tonight and a yoga class tomorrow night, but we can't go because of the meetings. Oh well. I still love it here.

A Day Mostly Off

Today, even though I had no class I did have homework to take care of. There was so much going on today. There was the trip to Newport beach, going to the mall again, WaterFire, etc. It was Saturday after all. It was fun to just have a day off and socialize.

In my case and that of my friends we stayed at the dorms and went out for a bit every now and then. Mostly, we went to the V-Dub for luch and dinner only. I sort of missed breakfast because I had a meeting with my class TA My (her name is pronounced "me"). I had planned to eat breakfast, but instead I took care of some other things. 

At my meeting with My I had the chance to explain my Action Plan to her. My responded with comments and suggestions of things to research and reference. It was great to hear feedback, at my meeting both Guadalupe and Irene were present. That is why after we all got the chance to talk about our Action Plan's we left for the V-Dub to eat and returned promptly to the dorms afterward.

Late in the evening we got the chance to go to the WaterFire celebration downtown. It was a very beautiful event. There were so many people! There were even people on little boats going down the river. There were little stands in the back selling food and a small stage where a band was performing and another were the music that could be heard from all around the river emanated.

This event seemed to bring the entire community of Providence together. It seemed to be a celebration, a celebration of what I questioned? With a bit of research it came down to be a celebration of unity, peace, reflection, and most importantly of the community. The night was brightened by the fires and the air was infused with the scent of burning wood. It was lovely to just sit around the bank of the river and observe. The creator of this celebration is Barnaby Evans. All along the rivers, which are the Providence, Woonasquatucket, and Moshassuck river, there are waterborne braziers lined up, which throughout the night are tended by volunteers.

After spending some time downtown and returning to Brown, we decided to go check out the party that was scheduled today for all the Summer@Brown students. It was supposed to be for some wedding, but I'm not sure if it was just a joke or if it was really for a wedding. Our curfew, for today was 12:30 AM so we had a bit of time left. We got to the party and met up with a few other people from class and the dorm. The music was pretty good, we danced a bit and before we knew it, it was 12:00 AM and the party ended. We went back to the dorms, and well rested.

More to come of this fabulous weekend!

Homework, Waterfire, and My Bad Experience With Crowded Places

I got to sleep in a little bit today, since there are no classes on weekends. However, I had to be at the Sciences Library at 11 AM to meet with My, the TA for Women and Leadership and my RA. I walked with Lupe and met Selene there since their meetings were at 10:45. We didn't see My anywhere, and we really wanted to get breakfast since the dining halls had closed before we woke up. But we kept on waiting "just five more minutes" for her to show up. Eventually Lupe called; it turns out that My had slept late and that the phone call woke her up. At last, I got to meet with her. We discussed my Action Plan - I've solidified my ultimate goals and what would be feasible. I also identified possible resources and mentors. My Action Plan worksheet is completely filled with notes written every which way. I feel much better about it, though.

Then, I studied for about four hours with a bunch of friends in Lina's room, which is across the hall. I caught up on yesterday's work and finished all of today's - probably more than sixty pages of dense reading. Tomorrow I'll do some more and try to finish the two projects which are due early next week. I'd say it was a productive four hours.

Our little group decided to go to WaterFire, which is a kind of artistic event where baskets of wood poking out of the river are lit on fire. It's very pretty and the roaring fire reflects on the dark water. We sat with our legs dangling over the edge and enjoyed the scene for about two hours. The plan was to see WaterFire and then go to a dance back at Brown. We stopped by the dorm and then set off for the dance. I wasn't too excited because crowds stress me out and I don't really like dances in general. Still, I gave it a try and managed to stay for about twenty minutes before I decided that I would have a lot more fun sleeping in my bed than jumping around with a few hundred other sweaty people to loud music. I thought the theme was fun, though - it was a "Wedding Crashers" party. I guess it was nice as dances go, but it was still a dance and those aren't for me.

        

My plan is to sleep in even more tomorrow and work hard on my homework so I'll have some of the day left to relax and spend time with friends. Today was a nice balance of the two.

Evasive Definitions

As soon as we walked into class today, we played a quick icebreaker and then made posters about what we thought of when we heard "Act like a man!" or "Be ladylike."  It was surprising to see how easily we thought of words that were opposites of the statements instead of words that fit with them. It was very difficult to define stereotypes that whose pressure we have all felt, whether it was on us or not. There were probably more derogatory terms listed for outsiders than terms for people who fit the descriptions. We also came to the conclusion that, at least in the United States, men are more frowned upon when they depart from the expectations for their gender.

However, that does not mean that women are completely "liberated" from stereotypes and sexism. We watched a short documentary called "Killing Me Softly 4" by Jean Kilbourne. It highlighted the objectification, sexualization, and infantilization of women in advertising and the media. We saw some ads in which this was rampant, as well as others that weren't as obvious and took a little bit of thinking. Men are also often treated as sexual objects in the media. I was shocked to see how much this has pervaded our society. It's really a public health issue - these ads directly contribute to depression/low self esteem and eating disorders.

We practiced assertiveness versus passivity and aggressiveness by acting out roles in which we tried using each technique. Interestingly enough, I found that consciously trying to use a single technique was very hard. Normally I just go with whatever comes naturally or whatever fits what I'm trying to achieve. However, I realized that being assertive usually feels better (more honest, more honorable?) than being passive or aggressive. By being aware of which situations or with which people I tend to be more passive or aggressive, I can improve the way I connect with people and become a better leader.

Almost everyone has heard of the saying "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but teach a man how to fish and he'll eat for the rest of his life." What we don't realize is even though getting to the root of the problem is a long-term solution, often we need to combine a long-term solution with something that addresses the "symptoms" of the problem. Finding a long-term solution is called community organizing. Addressing the symptoms is called social service. Both are wonderful things. For example, a food drive is social service, but a vocational training program is community organizing. If one only gives food to poor people, they will almost certainly never become independent. If one only trains them, they won't have enough food while they're being trained. Both are important.

My brain felt like it was dripping information by the end of class. I can't believe it's been an entire week of class. We know each other so well in the class and we've absorbed so much that it feels like it's been much longer. To relax, after class I took a short nap and then went to the mall with a large group of friends. A smaller group split off - Lina, Safiya, Lupe, Lucero, and a few others - and we hit the stores and then the food court. I did buy a few things with my own money, but only things that I would really use. I still want to buy a Brown T-shirt or something to commemorate my stay here. Later we went to a cafe and just talked about the past week for more than an hour. 

As we were heading to the bus stop, I heard some music. It sounded really good, so I followed it to a crowd around a band playing in the street! Apparently the band is called "Deer Tick", which is a funny coincidence since yesterday at the Ropes Course the facilitators warned us repeatedly about dog and deer ticks. I'll be sure to google them since they did sound quite good when I was there.

In the end, we ended up just walking back to the dorm since it was such a short walk. I'm planning to sleep in a little bit more tomorrow, but I can't completely laze around since there's lots of homework and an individual meeting with the TA tomorrow morning.

Five Days

I cannot believe that a whole five days of school has passed! Each day went by slowly by itself but looking back the days seemed to go by so fast. The class has been enjoyable so far. I look forward to another week and the projects, amazing woman monologue, and interview and capstone project.

For the amazing woman monologue I am to research about a woman who I admire and talk about her through her. I am doing Jane Addams because as I was brainstorming as to who I am to do she came to mind. I could not remember her name but I remembered what she did. I learned about her in the beginning of the 8th grade.

Last night I interviewed my mom for the interview project. Some of her answers sounded familiar to what she has told me before and explained some things about my mom. This example goes with what we have been reading and talking a little bit in class; to understand others you need to understand their culture. However, although those around us influence us we still have the option in how we are going to react to that incident, person, or thing.

I am still thinking as to what my capstone project is going to be. I went to my teacher, Kisa, to help me eliminate some of my ideas. She only gave me another idea to do. I will have it down by Sunday.

I enjoyed watching “How to Train Your Dragon” and I got Selene to watch the movie with me and some other girls from my Women and Leadership class.

Wicklla Awesome Day.

Weekends: who doesn't love them? I know I'm happy on a Friday.

Today in class, we discussed the portrayal of men and women in popular culture. Men are often forced to be masculine, unemotional, tough and dominate while women are suppose to be lady-like: quiet, disciplined and non-opinionated. Each gender is pressured into fitting into their gender "box". We only discussed this for a while because we tend to discuss TOO M=much in class and although it's good to do so, time is of the essence.

Later on in the day, we watched a short film on women's image in the media. The speaker in the film discussed serious topics like anorexia and thinness in the modeling industry and how a woman's sex appeal is used to sell products. It was only a part of the whole film, so I will google it to watch the rest at some point. It discussed how women's roles in the world are changing, but it is slow progress. I think that the issue was presented in a great manner: informative, direct, effective and mind-changing. I loved it very much and I plan to find more films similar to this one.

From the video, there were many things that confirmed my theories on women's image. Other times, I was surprised about facts mentioned as well. For instance, I knew that fashion industry uses tons and tons of Photoshop to edit an image to create the "perfect woman" even though none exist. A surprising thing was the severe amount of media that position women in a negative and inferior manner. I never thoroughly analyzed the ads that I see every day. Although many were subconscious portrayals, it still affected the mind and the consumer would not notice the effect immediately or maybe not even at all. That was surprising and eye-opening for me.

After class, several friends and I left for the mall to explore. It was fun to bond with other people than just the ILC members. I love the ILC group, it's always to branch out of our comfort zone. But Irene and Lucero were still with me. We came several people. Some split, some left and we were on our adventure. At times, we practiced our different "leadership" styles when directing the group. It was silly, but we somehow managed to apply what we learn in class to the outside world.

To explain the title, wicklla is a word we made up with our new friends from the East Coast and Canada. I tend to ask the other students about their cultures and languages they have. Listeninng in to their conversations, they tend to say "wicked" as a slang word while we Norcal people love to use "hella". We found each other's words very cool so we decided to mix it up and use "wicklla" to combine our slang cultures. In example: Today, kicking it at the mall with our Brownie friends was wicklla cool. We'll be trying to use this word in vocabulary with each other. I notice that this is a form of binding with each other.

Providence is still warm and humid at night so I was a bit disappointed that there was no cool night tonight. As much I love being here at Brown, the humidity is something I am not enjoying. The heat, I can deal with. I guess I can say that there's no better weather than California. The fact that it rains during the summer here also confuses me as well.

Tomorrow, we will most likely go to Newport for a fun trip. I wanted to visit Ms. Pelley, my chemistry teacher, but she has not got back to me.

Sleeping in! Finally!

Adapting My Style to What Works

Today, at the Ropes Course, I learned that everyone had different leadership styles. Many people's comfort zone was in the leadership style that they took most often- for example, concerned with results, relationships, vision, or details. During the Ropes Course, because of restrictions on some aspects and encouragement on others, people challenged themselves to try other styles that would most benefit the whole group in that particular situation. I challenged myself to trust anyone in the group to hold me, catch me, and guide me through the course in more ways than one.

Trust-Leaning Activity

About myself, I learned that patience is important in working together. In some activities we were made to be silent. I learned that when my ability to communicate is impaired, if I have something to say, I become frustrated. Eventually, however, I learned how to make the situation work for myself and the group. I think that it was both a physical and mental challenge, because it was a physical restriction but a mental challenge to deal with.

Here are some pictures from our lunch at a beach filled with rocks and shells. It was actually very pretty.

Top Left: Allie finds a rotting crab leg. Top Right: Lindsey and Lina explore together. Center: Lupe investigates the shore. Bottom: Tierra has fun!

With physical challenges, I pushed myself very hard. For example, at the tightropes, I refused to stop when I felt wobbly, even when My and Aaron (the facilitators) were telling me to step off because they were scared for me. I know that they thought that they were helping me, and I would probably do the same if I were in their place.

However, I felt at the time that I could do it and that I didn't want to show weakness to myself or my peers by stepping off. It was like giving up to me. After a long while, I finally stepped off on the highest, longest tightrope. So my physical challenges mostly turned into mental ones that I either resolved (like the silence) or that I allowed to weaken my contribution or participation to the group.

 

Ryan (a major driving force in the Leadership Institute) and I

In a group, sometimes it will take me a while to step up and be seen as a traditional "leader". I usually let someone else try a challenge first, and then I go second. It's partly to learn from their mistakes, and partly out of fear that I might not succeed. I might even think that I would be judged in some way because of that.

                                    

Beautiful views of the beach

Groups work best when people step a little bit out of their comfort zones. That helps everyone participate but also encourage others to play a part. I will definitely apply this knowledge in the coming week by continuing to challenge myself to be an active learner. This means speaking up when I'm feeling quiet, and letting others speak if there's an issue that I've been contributing to in a discussion for a while.

Rope

Today the Woman and Leadership class and another class in the leadership institute went to the ropes course which was about 30 minutes away by bus.

We split into different groups and played games. The first game was called chicken baseball. In chicken baseball, each team tries to get to 20 or more points first. Team A throws the rubber chicken as far as they can away from team B. As team B runs to get the rubber chicken and then pass it down the line by handing it down by passing it under the legs to the next person who passes it down over their head, team A’s members but one form a circle. The one not in the circle, the runner, runs around the circle as fast as they can. Each loop around the group’s circle that the runner does is one point. Then team B throws the rubber chicken. I enjoyed playing this game.

The next game was a series of trust games. In the trust games you are to trust that your spotter will make sure you will not fall as you lean back towards their direction straight as a pole and supposedly relaxed as a baby falling asleep. Later as we played different variations of this type of game, we lifted each other up.

My group then played a game where on a wet log surrounded by untouchable land we had to silently organize ourselves by birthday. As a January birthday, I only had to move once.

We then played a game where we had to go in a circle on small raised platforms to stand on every platform. Two people had to share with two other people to fit in the platforms we could use. The second time we played the game three people, Katherine, Allie, and Cara, could not see.

The next game we did was called Island Hopping. In Island Hopping we had to travel from one island (wooden platforms) to another. To get across to the other island we had double two planks the facilitators gave us to use.

Finally, we played two games on ropes low to the ground hung by trees. The first game was that all of us in the group had to get on the rope. Then we had to all travel to a certain spot. The second challenge was much harder because no longer were we allowed to use a stick to travel from one point to the other and we had to hold each others' hands instead of the trees in the rope course path.

It was pretty fun. I look forward to watch “How to Train Your Dragon” tomorrow.

All About Community - Connecting, Trusting, Improving

Today, I was woken up by a crashing sound coming from the direction of my laptop. I immediately jumped up and felt the cover since my eyesight is so bad. It was untouched. It turns out that the shelf above my desk had shifted while my roommate was leaning against it. It still gave me a big scare, though. Since I was already up, I decided to be productive and work ahead on our reading assignments.

In class, we worked on our public speaking skills. Dr. Jennifer Madden came in and addressed all the concerns we could ever have about speaking in front of others. I really liked her style - she was confident but she communicated that she cared about our input. After we had covered the general rules for public speaking, she told us that we would have to improvise a speech after lunch. With that hanging over our heads, we went out and tried to enjoy our break. I ate spinach pizza at the Ratty (the smaller dining hall) with Selene and Lydia, and made my own dessert combining cookies and ice cream.

When we returned, we split into small groups to present improvised speeches. Soon it was my turn. I decided to give my speech on my Action Plan, which is a plan to improve our world that could start with our local community. The Leadership Institute expects us to put this Plan into place once we're back at home. We will present a speech on the final day of the class to students, faculty, and some parents.

My group was facilitated by Dr. Madden herself, which was awesome because she had constructive criticism that was very to-the-point. I learned that I do need to project my voice, but that I actually have that down pretty well. My lack of emphasizing certain words and of variation in tone contributes to the impression that I don't have enough volume, when in fact that's not the worst problem. 

The worst problem was that I wanted to do too much. That's always been a problem that I've had; it's very difficult, but very rewarding. I brought all my brainstorming ideas together and put them together into one plan that ranged from presenting an art project on the gender spectrum to educating younger children to voter registration to gender issues being represented on the ballot.  The most important piece of information that I came away with is that I really need to narrow down my Plan to make it strong, focused, and attainable. I have a good idea, but I'll need to work it out some more. I'm really glad that I made that speech, though. The feedback and the experience together was invaluable.

After class, I learned more about the ropes course which our class is participating in tomorrow. My RA, and other students who had already gone through it, reassured me on the fact that it wasn't too physically taxing, but that we would all come away from the activity feeling more empowered and more united as a community. I can't wait. The only thing that makes me a little bit apprehensive is the fact that there will be lots of mosquitoes and ticks. I'll be sure to wear long pants and serious shoes.

I did a bit of homework with classmates Bianchi, Diana, Lydia, and Selene. I learned something new - not only is Bianchi from New Orleans, but her family is originally from Honduras. I never would have thought that, because she doesn't look like the stereotype of people from Central America. I'm very surprised that there are so many Spanish speakers here at Brown - there's quite a lot! Apparently, there are also strong Colombian and Portuguese/Brazilian communities which exist in Providence. I also met some of the girls down on the first floor - Heidi, Ashley, and Natalie - through my Women and Leadership classmates.

Lupe and I went to check out the ballroom dancing activity at 6 PM. The instructor never showed up, and we began to doubt if the activity was even intended to have an instructor. We were under the impression that this would be a beginner's class, not just a gathering in the ballroom. After almost 45 minutes, we decided to eat at the V. Dub instead.

At 7:30, we had a workshop with the Women and Leadership class led by my RA (who is also our TA) and the RA for the rest of the class which is on the first floor of the same dorm. We sat down and laid out the basic community rules that we have written down for each and every group activity we have started at Brown. Initially, I was a little bored because every time the same group of people had met, we wrote down these rules and everyone contributed the same kinds of words, like trust, open mindedness, and "one mic". Later, I saw how important these rules were, how important it was that we went over them several times, and how much they were valued in different settings.

We did several activities, all involving trusting the group with very controversial topics and issues that touched home for a lot of us. For one, we held hands in a big circle and were asked to step forward (still holding hands) if we heard a statement (such as "I have thought about suicide") that was true about us. I felt that everyone participated honestly and to the best of their abilities. Our hands became sweaty with the tension and nobody broke the silence throughout the activity. By the end, several girls had shed tears, and several more had supported them. The interesting thing was that although I stepped forward upon hearing statements that would have scared me if I had said them myself, by having 22 other people involved with the same dilemma at the same time, this problem was eliminated.

To finish off, we wrote out something about ourselves that we would prefer communicating in an anonymous setting. The RAs read the statements aloud while we listened in an almost magical silence. I was shocked at some of the heart-wrenching experiences that people have been through. I feel so much closer and so much more trusting of everyone in the class now that I've been through the Diversity workshop. I also know that I will consider people's backgrounds and feelings even more now. I'll always remember the feeling of being connected to everyone else in that room. I feel like I've really spent 2 months here, not three days. It's crazy how much information I have to process and how much I've grown since I've gotten here.