My Reflection

“Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” -Peter F. Drucker

It find it difficult to fit all that I've felt, learned, seen, heard, and changed into one blog. However, I will do my best to make sure anyone reading my blog will comprehend all that happened to me during my stay at Brown University.

All I've learned since the first day I stepped onto campus and the last day I glanced back at Brown has formed a new character inside of me. Everything: the class, the people, the activities, are all part of my experience on the East Coast. There was no single moment or single person that defined my time and growth at Brown University; they all are interlaced within each other in an intricate manner. It was all the laughs we shared; it was all the mornings at the Ratty; it was all the times we found something new to learn in class; it was everything.

From the first moment I stepped into class and heard Kisa Takesue utter, "Well, good morning! How are you young ladies doing today?", I would be in a completely different setting for learning. Her enthusiasm and humor made the class fun and intriguing every single morning and afternoon (her laugh always made my day). The high level of intellect in the class made it that much more interesting to participate in. I would always wake up with a smile on my face, looking forward to go to head off to the Watson Institute, where our course would take place and I would have another day of learning about the amazing women leaders in our world. Each day would balance learning of women roles in the world as well as the leadership skills deemed necessary to have.

One of the first things we noticed in class (though we knew we would face this because of the course's title) was the lack of boys in our class. The majority of us have an equal number of boys and girls in our classes back home (only one girl in our class goes to an all-girls school) and so we found it rather awkward and a bit unfair to be surrounded by only girls. Only after the first day did we no longer notice this different set-up. Initially, I thought this setting would reinforce the idea that women and men must be separated to learn. However, it was only after a couple of classes and evening activities did I realize this structure of learning does not segregate genders, it empowers women to become leaders without the supremacy of males often felt at times. I don't mean to say men would have ruined learning in class because of their "machismo", I mean to say that the material we learned in class would not have been as relevant to them as it is to us. The lack of boys led us to build a stronger bond with each other and a better understanding of our similar struggles. Though I don't mean to be cliché, the class was all about women power.

In the first days of class, I kept asking myself: "Am I truly a leader? Can I mobilize a group of people towards a common cause? Can I act the way a leader is suppose to act?". These were the questions that kept popping into my head whenever someone mentioned we were leaders; and yet these were the questions I could I answer without hesitation after a week. It took me some time to first realize what kind of person and leader I was, then I realized afterward what my passions and strengths were.

I am a leader. I am not ideal definition of a leader (because no one is), but there is no definite way one can lead. The only way one can lead is to use one's own strengths instead of focusing on the weaknesses. I learned that pursing my passions will lead me to become a better leader rather than spreading myself thin with other interests. Who wants to look up to someone who is not passionate about their own work? Passion is key to any accomplishment. This is the best way to motivate people together.

I enjoyed that our class was based more on discussions and analytical thinking rather than lectures and tests about women's history in the world. I can't tell you how many debriefs and circles we shared in class and even after the clock struck 3:30; our class found themselves chatting in circles after-hours and we found this the best way to talk with each other since it gave everyone an equal presence in the group. The class allowed us to think for ourselves and, agreeing with Irene as she said in one of her blogs, we were not taught by what a textbook said. It was okay for us to each have our own opinions; however, we were presented with other perspectives as well. It was up to us to learn to be empathetic towards others.

One of the highlights of the Summer@Brown were the people and the students we met from all over the world. Of course, there were some people that were not as enthusiastic being there, but they don't matter. The friends I made were amazing and each one had a special talent. There was a champion jump-roper, a chef, a lifeguard and a swimming instructor among other things. Lina, from Massachusetts, and I shared a passion for immigrant justice. Though we both on the opposites of the United States, it goes to show that distance has no role in social justice. We often talked about the DREAM Act, something we feel needs to be passed. We each are doing this type of work through similar organizations at school. This was one of the many bonds I had during my stay.

I do agree that my experience was indeed life-changing. However, I think in order for my summer at Brown to become an integral part of my leadership style and thought-process, I must constantly reflect back on what I learned and utilize the skills I gained in class. There have been many times where I've attend a class or workshop specialized to teach a life-long skill and yet they do not find a good way to maintain the sustainability of the skills obtained. Women and Leadership, though, practically places these skills in our hands and shows us where to go. What a better way to hone our skills than through an Action Plan?

My Action Plan consists of holding workshops focused on college-readiness geared toward underclassmen in my school. Coming from experience, there were few workshops held about college when I was a freshman and it made my sophomore year confusing when it came to prepping for tests, financial aid, and classes. Though there are workshops held at school, I do not think they are I want to reach every student in the school and hopefully, be able to increase the percentage of students graduating and attending college with the collaborative work of other college-prep programs. I hope to do so with the newly acquired skills I learned.

My task now is to contribute to my community on what I learned on the east coast. I will continue to pursue my passions; I will continue to be an active and concerned member at my school; I will continue to lead others; I will continue to do the best that I possibly can.

Brown is not Dull -- Brown is Beautiful.

I woke up with a heavy heart. Today was our last day at Brown University. Everyone in the class was special to me in a unique way. I would miss Kisa, My (our leadership fellow) and every single one of the young ladies that I bonded with. The growth I achieved from being in this leadership class is more than I have gained in my entire life thus far. So with a sorrow for leaving Brown but a joy for learning so much, I left for class.

My roommate, Kristi! 

My awesome friend, Tierra and I! 

From Durham, North Carolina, Erica! 

The more, the merrier! 

We did not do any workshops or lectures today. Instead, we were told to write a letter to ourselves that would be sent to our homes near December. The purpose was to remind ourselves of what we learned during the summer course and to apply to our daily lives; we didn’t want this to be something we would forget. So I wrote to myself and hopefully by the time I get the letter, I will not have forgotten the priceless things I learned about women and leadership. As I’ve said time and time again, Summer@Brown was a life-changing experience. 

Writing

My, Kisa and Selene

Class Picture! 

We continued on with writing positive comments about each person in our class. Every person in the course was special to me in some way or another. I made it a goal to write something different for each person that related their presence to me. There is so much I learned from the other girls. Their cultures, their histories, their backgrounds, all contributed to my understanding of diversity. I underestimated what diversity is and now I know that it does not only mean a difference in race and socioeconomic status, but also a difference in childhood, beliefs, and ethics among other things. 

Looking back at what I've learned in class, I realized many things. Real learning does not take place as memorizing facts, dates and books; learning is taken from life experience. We learned about life from a woman's point of view, not that it cannot only apply to women, but to everyone. Learning is taking a bit from every part of the world and implementing that into our daily lives. We've had that very concept integrated into our course this summer. As I will use in my presentation today, "Education is not a preparation for life; education is life itself." This quote, by the American philosopher John Dewey, inspired me to think about what education genuinely is. It describes our experience at Brown perfectly and I know that I finally found some closure to our class on the East Coast. 

Discussing in class

My proud friend hailing from Chicago, Trina. She was an inspiration to me.

The leadership fellow from our class, My (as in Me but spelled differently) and Kristi. We were being silly

My was such a great person! We all bonded with her

Just thought I'd like for everyone to know what snacking at Brown while studying for two weeks ends up being... 

We concluded the last class and headed for lunch. I spent my lunch working on my Action Plan to polish it off. I was a bit nervous about my presentation, but I knew that if it didn’t go as well as I wanted, I would only learn from it. Life is about making mistakes, and if I mess up, it’s okay. I have plenty of time to learn. I kept in mind that my confidence and public speaking skills have improved considerably since day one and I would be fine. With those thoughts in mind, I left for our presentations. 

Dean Rose welcomed everyone to the Leadership presentations. I loved how she integrated all we’ve learned into her speech -- she was very inspiring. We finally split into groups and I was to be presenting to Dean Rose herself. As usual, I was a bit jittery before I presented but I managed to get through it. It was now or never. 

Dean Rose introducing the Action Plan Presentations

All in all, it went well and I was very pleased that Dean Rose told me I did an awesome job and I articulated myself very well. She said I did better than most, but being very hard on myself, I found this comment surprising but joyful and I appreciated it very much. When it comes to presenting, the saying, “practice makes perfect” comes to mind. With experience, it becomes less and less difficult to talk in front of a large audience. I will make sure to push myself when I present so I can become a better leader for all. 

Afterward, we met on the Main Green on campus and took final pictures with our new friends and professors. Although the weather was raining on our parade (literally, except for the parade part since there was no parade obviously), it did not stop us from our good-byes and departures. It was sad to see some friends leaving already; I felt like we each had a special bond with each other. We’ve grown not individually, but together, interlaced with our experiences, passions, mistakes, doubts and most importantly, our hearts. We’ve each taken to each other in a special way. 

Dean Rose, Irene and I 

Groupies

Kisa and I 

- - - - -

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." -Anais Nin

In the last few hours, we spent the rest of the time we had just hanging around with our friends. I already packed the night before so I made sure to spend those last few moments with our friends. We made one last run to Thayer Street to buy any things we needed or just wanted. One by one, friends started to leave until there was only a few of us left. Finally, it was time for us to leave and I was so sad to leave everything: my friends, the dorms, my roommate and even the weather (Although I kept complaining about the humidity, I have to say, I am going to miss warm nights in Providence). I looked back at the campus and said my final good-bye. For now. 

At the train station, leaving

We spent the night in Boston and had one final dinner together as the Ivy League Connections Brown Session II group. Ms. Stewart very generously treated us for dinner that night and I was so grateful. I looked around the table with all of our ILC members and although I was happy, inside I was sad that our time in the East Coast was almost up. Tomorrow morning, we would fly back to San Francisco. Back to home. So I made sure to make the most of our last night in Boston. I know I did, so I’m glad about that. 

Our room at the Hilton 

The view from the hotel window on the ninth floor

And so, I finish this blog with a spirit of joy. I am happy to have been in this program. I am happy to have learned so much. I happy to have met so many amazing people. 

I am happy.

Good-bye, East Coast!

I Surprised Myself

When I first came into this program, I thought that I was really open-minded. However, I slowly realized that the Women and Leadership program at Brown would challenge me intellectually and emotionally more than I had thought it would, and make me even more understanding of all kinds of diversity.

I thought I had my mind mostly made up on what feminism was and what leadership was, but we attacked these issues from all possible angles, and Kisa let everyone come to their own conclusions. All the professors, the TAs, the RAs, the Leadership Fellows, the staff, and the students were so approachable. Nobody ever told us, "this is the way it is because I said so," or "this is the way it is because it's written in a textbook." I really love that way of learning. As Mercedes Domenech said, in the end it doesn't matter so much what you're learning as long as you expand your horizons and learn how to see the world in a different light. I was surprised about the program and about myself in the best way possible.

I also realized that I can't be a "supergirl." I can't be perfect and I can't do everything perfectly, but I can certainly try. I will try. If I make a mistake I won't dwell on it, but learn from it. I will concentrate on doing what I love, whether it's skating, playing clarinet, or leading a community organization.

~Kisa gave us bracelets with inspirational words on them. Mine says "lead."~

I teared up so many times on the last day of class. Two weeks seemed much too short. I would be so incredibly happy if I could go back and learn in that environment again. Before this program, I never would have seriously considered applying to Brown, but now I will definitely apply to Brown and other highly selective universities.

I learned that there are still obstacles for women and for many other groups of people in the world, but that the final barrier to success is always one's own self-confidence.

If I believe in myself and others, and believe in our dreams, I'll surprise myself yet again. Thank you to everyone who made this experience possible for me.