Decisions, Decisions...

The college admissions process is almost over for the high school class of 2011! With a deadline of May 1^st to turn in a Statement of Intent to Register to the school we’ll be attending in September, I’ve been thinking about and revisiting my decision again and again.

My final three choices were Swarthmore, Brown, and Oberlin (down from an intimidating list of 14 schools where I was accepted to, 14/14). Here’s some advice for this year’s ILC students: do not apply to as many schools as I did. Really. Narrow it down to a number as small as 5 – as long as you keep a diverse acceptance rate in mind (highly selective, selective, backup school), I’m sure you’ll be able to go somewhere amazing. It’ll save you a lot of stress later on, too.

So, to help with my final decision, I decided to visit again during Spring Break. Luckily, Swarthmore was offering an all-expenses-paid visit on the 14^th and 15^th of April. It was a bit of a struggle to arrange a return date in the middle of the week so that I could see Brown again, but we managed to do it.

My plane took off from the San Francisco International Airport at about 10pm Thursday night. I wasn’t too excited about flying on a red-eye, but it didn’t seem that bad until I realized that I had stored my contacts case in the suitcase which was in the overhead bin – and there were two people sleeping to the right of me! I decided to leave the contacts in, and that turned out to be a terrible mistake as my eyes got more and more irritated with every uncomfortable hour. Once I landed in Philadelphia at 3am West Coast time, I made my way to the Swarthmore student group with bleary eyes and a crick in my neck. Red-eye flights are not a good idea on college visit trips (I later couldn’t keep from nodding asleep in a political science class and I felt really terrible afterwards for doing so, but my body just couldn’t handle being awake for so long).

The other admitted students immediately cheered me up. They had taken it upon themselves to gather in a huge circle and go through introductions, and I spotted someone who I had found on the admitted students Facebook group and exchanged a few messages with beforehand. Everyone was very cheerful but also extremely sharp.  Once I got to campus and met my host, I got a chance to reflect. I really liked Swarthmore and what it had to offer on paper, but the vibe just wasn’t quite right. The fact that they paid for my flight was so helpful, and their financial aid package was astoundingly good, but little things jumped out at me and showed me that Swarthmore wasn’t exactly the right fit for me. For example, the admissions office was very lavish (as opposed to Oberlin’s, which just did the job and felt like the perfect combination of down-to-earth and welcoming). The students were also very driven and passionate (which is good) but had a certain air of intensity and a little bit of social awkwardness. Sometimes, they pushed themselves past the limits of what they could handle with courseloads and extracurriculars. Guiltiness washed over me as people asked if I would attend Swarthmore – I answered with a sad “probably not” and knew that I couldn’t see myself living the life of a Swarthmore student. However, Swarthmore is a great, great place with interesting people, endless opportunities, and wonderful academics; for this year’s ILC students, I recommend at least looking into it. It might just be the place for you.

My grandmother picked me up from Swarthmore on Friday night. She lives about 30 minutes away from the campus, so I stayed with her through Sunday morning. I’m very grateful that I was able to do that. It was so nice to spend a bit of time with her, too.

On Sunday morning, I took Amtrak from Philadelphia to Providence so that I could visit Brown. I walked from the train station to Keeney Quad (which was a pretty short walk) and met Cynthia Fong outside her dorm. I had been emailing her before I left with questions about Brown and she was nice enough to let me stay in her room for a few days. We dropped off my bags and headed off to find some food, which wasn’t hard because there were free snacks by Wriston Quad in celebration of Spring Weekend (a festival at Brown that gives students a chance to release stress and have some fun). The SciLi (Science Library) was our next stop, so that we could eat and finish some homework. At 2pm, Cynthia excitedly led me back to Wriston to see Dave Binder perform as part of Spring Weekend. I had never heard of Dave Binder, but people were apparently pretty excited about him. He played lots of covers and sweet acoustic songs; the crowd went wild. I think they were just happy to be able to relax. I did see some drinking, but it wasn’t overwhelming, and it seemed like everyone was staying safe and no one was being pressured. No one was indecent or obnoxious. Cynthia and her friends told me that Spring Weekend is not typical of Brown at all – usually, on the weekends, people are busy studying.

A flash mob surprised us by dancing to “Forget You” by Cee Lo Green. It was really well done and people loved it. Cynthia and I left Wriston happy and smiling. After dinner, I went to Faunce Hall and checked out the LGBTQ Resource Center. It was closed for the night (since it was 9pm already) but I noticed a group talking in the adjacent room. I poked my head in and introduced myself as an admitted student; the group, which was very friendly, turned out to be the Queer Alliance Coordinating Committee (QACC). I was really excited to have found the college organization that corresponds with the Gay-Straight Alliance at my high school, since I’m the club president and I’m so involved in the activist world. They were just finishing up their meeting, but I did ask a few questions about clubs at Brown. Clubs draw up a budget every year and submit it to a committee of students, which then almost always gives the clubs however much money they need to carry out the projects they have planned. I thought that was great – having grown up in California public schools, I would never, ever expect to get that kind of funding and support from my administration (although they probably do wish that it was possible for them to do so). The QACC supervises a variety of subgroups (I think about 15), which range in focus from support to social events to activism.

The leader of the main activist group (QPAC, or the Queer Political Action Committee), whose name is Gabe, actually had Brown and Oberlin as his final two choices just like I did. Because we had that in common, he understood what was so hard about my decision. We both like Oberlin because the atmosphere is so politically diverse and full of creativity. The music scene at Oberlin (classical, jazz, composition, performance, student groups) is also naturally strong because of the conservatory. In spite of Oberlin’s isolated location, there’s no way to be bored, because the student body is so active and interesting. What most impressed me was that everyone was so welcoming; each student pretty much automatically became my friend the second I stepped on campus. However, Gabe chose to go to Brown mainly because of the diversity in ideology among the students – although Brown is a progressive place, there’s enough of a range of opinions that groups like QPAC could actually be making a big difference, whereas at Oberlin QPAC would pretty much be preaching to the choir. That’s the main thing Cynthia emphasized to me, as well. The location is also very convenient and not isolated at all. It’s easy to get around New England on Amtrak and the Rhode Island statehouse is only a 10-minute walk away. QPAC makes good use of the closeness of the R.I. legislators and often visits to make the biggest impact on policy.

I stayed at Brown until Tuesday afternoon. I visited a few classes (Intro to Political Thought, Econ seminar, literature class on Heaven and Hell focusing on Paradise Lost, and a class on Black Lavender theatre) and also stopped by the Third World Center, the Swearer Center for Public Service, and Meehan Auditorium’s ice rink. Unfortunately, Meehan is a seasonal rink, so I wouldn’t be able to figure skate there all year; I did look up some rinks within an hour or two of Providence, though. It seems like it would be possible to start a recreational figure skating club if I wanted to. The last three classes were quite small, and I felt like there was no lack of personal attention. The professors really seemed to care about the students as individuals, and every student participated willingly. Each class also grabbed my attention and held it for the whole duration – for the most part, I had no problem understanding what was being covered. That was a relief. TWC and the Swearer Center came off as great resources with super friendly people working and hanging out inside.

All of this reassured me that Brown could have a small feel and a sense of community without feeling too small. The location, the resources, the friendliness, the diversity of class offerings, and of course the diversity of the students ultimately convinced me that Brown is the school for me. Oberlin will always be special to me, but I’m confident that Brown is the best place for me to spend the next four years of my life.

Again, I’m really grateful to Cynthia, her roommate, my grandmother, my parents, Sue Kim, and the ILC for making it possible for me to get to this point. I almost can’t believe how much I’ve learned and how much I’ve grown since last November. Thank you all so much.

Completely Amazed

I'm still amazed at what wonderful news I received just last Monday. Four years ago, I never thought that I would be attending one of the most prestigious universities in the world, much less, qualify for one. I suppose it's the Richmond High mentality, the one where the dream school for everyone is U.C. Berkeley, and the only one. There's nothing wrong with that--Berkeley is a great school. However, in these past couple of months, I've learned that there are more opportunities beyond what is here in California.

I knew there were plenty of resources at Brown University, I saw for myself this summer. I fell in love with the school and I knew I had to come back. Then school started once again and we were finally starting the college application process. Sue Kim asked me when she came over at Richmond High: "Are you applying Early Decision anywhere?" I thought to myself, well, Brown really won me over, and it is definitely my number one choice. I wanted to show that to the admissions officers there. So I told her: "Yes, I am, at Brown University." I was determined.

When I was filling out my application and supplement to Brown, I never hesitated or pondered a question; it was easy for me to show the love I had for Brown. The thing that probably made the difference in my application, however, were my essays. I know they have a holistic process when reviewing applications, but I was confident that they really did stand out. I also think my transcript made a difference as well. It reflected the all the work I've done in high school.

The Ivy League Connections was what definitely prepared me for this school. If not for the program, I wouldn't be writing this blog! It's opened my eyes to the many opportunities available to me. Going back to what I wrote earlier, coming from a place like Richmond High, it's difficult to succeed in this environment. It's possible, but it requires much effort and discipline, things that I have done in order to have a good education.

Ms. Kim has also been a great counselor! She knows how to make our best qualities shine through our applications. Without her help, my application wouldn't have been as good.

My scanner is not working right now, but I will post up my acceptance letter this week. I want to share it with the rest of you.

I'm very happy right now and I can't wait to start school in Providence next year!

Coming Together for Change - My Final Reflection

What's unique about the Women and Leadership course at Brown is that they don't only teach leadership skills for young women, but also social responsibility and a truly open mind. An open mind doesn't just mean being respectful of ideas other than your own, but honestly trying to see things from a different perspective. It means treating others as you would like to be treated in every way, even though initially they may seem so different from yourself. That's what I learned firsthand inside and outside the classroom at Brown.

I wasn't so concerned about being on the East Coast, because I've been there before to visit family. What really hit me was meeting people who were truly from all around the world. We each had different ideas because we were individuals, but more often than not, we were essentially the same in one respect: we all were at Brown because we wanted to change the world for the better, starting with ourselves.

My self-confidence has increased exponentially throughout the course of the program. I think that self-confidence is the make-it-or-break-it factor in leaders and in anybody who wants to be successful in life. It also means being comfortable with yourself - with your heritage, your skills, your interests, and your ambitions. No matter what the external obstacles may be, self-confidence always has to be there so that you can move past them.

The final project in the Women and Leadership course was my Action Plan to implement interactive peer presentations in classrooms to combat homophobia. By moving this plan forward, I will not only improve my school and community, but put into practice my improved leadership skills. I've seen how it's possible for an incredibly diverse group to come together and support each other through difficult times. I always thought that "coming together" was a cliche that didn't actually happen in real life, but I was proven wrong. I want to bring this feeling back to my community so that everyone can learn just like I did.

Looking toward my own future, I'm very excited about getting placed with a mentor who is an alumnus of Brown University. Everyone who I've talked to who has gone to Brown is a very accomplished yet humble person who is focused on helping. I know that I can learn a lot from an older and more experienced person who comes from that kind of background, and I'm looking forward to it.

I want to help in my own way. Hopefully, I can continue to get guidance from the Brown Leadership Institute through the Symposium for Social Action. Students from summer@Brown will share how they have progressed on their Action Plans during the weekend of November 5-7. I know that the ILC can help me attend, and I'll do my best on my end by helping my community in the ways I've outlined above.

I want to thank everyone who has helped me get to this point. No matter how small the contribution may be, I am incredibly grateful to you all for this amazing experience.

My Reflection

“Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” -Peter F. Drucker

It find it difficult to fit all that I've felt, learned, seen, heard, and changed into one blog. However, I will do my best to make sure anyone reading my blog will comprehend all that happened to me during my stay at Brown University.

All I've learned since the first day I stepped onto campus and the last day I glanced back at Brown has formed a new character inside of me. Everything: the class, the people, the activities, are all part of my experience on the East Coast. There was no single moment or single person that defined my time and growth at Brown University; they all are interlaced within each other in an intricate manner. It was all the laughs we shared; it was all the mornings at the Ratty; it was all the times we found something new to learn in class; it was everything.

From the first moment I stepped into class and heard Kisa Takesue utter, "Well, good morning! How are you young ladies doing today?", I would be in a completely different setting for learning. Her enthusiasm and humor made the class fun and intriguing every single morning and afternoon (her laugh always made my day). The high level of intellect in the class made it that much more interesting to participate in. I would always wake up with a smile on my face, looking forward to go to head off to the Watson Institute, where our course would take place and I would have another day of learning about the amazing women leaders in our world. Each day would balance learning of women roles in the world as well as the leadership skills deemed necessary to have.

One of the first things we noticed in class (though we knew we would face this because of the course's title) was the lack of boys in our class. The majority of us have an equal number of boys and girls in our classes back home (only one girl in our class goes to an all-girls school) and so we found it rather awkward and a bit unfair to be surrounded by only girls. Only after the first day did we no longer notice this different set-up. Initially, I thought this setting would reinforce the idea that women and men must be separated to learn. However, it was only after a couple of classes and evening activities did I realize this structure of learning does not segregate genders, it empowers women to become leaders without the supremacy of males often felt at times. I don't mean to say men would have ruined learning in class because of their "machismo", I mean to say that the material we learned in class would not have been as relevant to them as it is to us. The lack of boys led us to build a stronger bond with each other and a better understanding of our similar struggles. Though I don't mean to be cliché, the class was all about women power.

In the first days of class, I kept asking myself: "Am I truly a leader? Can I mobilize a group of people towards a common cause? Can I act the way a leader is suppose to act?". These were the questions that kept popping into my head whenever someone mentioned we were leaders; and yet these were the questions I could I answer without hesitation after a week. It took me some time to first realize what kind of person and leader I was, then I realized afterward what my passions and strengths were.

I am a leader. I am not ideal definition of a leader (because no one is), but there is no definite way one can lead. The only way one can lead is to use one's own strengths instead of focusing on the weaknesses. I learned that pursing my passions will lead me to become a better leader rather than spreading myself thin with other interests. Who wants to look up to someone who is not passionate about their own work? Passion is key to any accomplishment. This is the best way to motivate people together.

I enjoyed that our class was based more on discussions and analytical thinking rather than lectures and tests about women's history in the world. I can't tell you how many debriefs and circles we shared in class and even after the clock struck 3:30; our class found themselves chatting in circles after-hours and we found this the best way to talk with each other since it gave everyone an equal presence in the group. The class allowed us to think for ourselves and, agreeing with Irene as she said in one of her blogs, we were not taught by what a textbook said. It was okay for us to each have our own opinions; however, we were presented with other perspectives as well. It was up to us to learn to be empathetic towards others.

One of the highlights of the Summer@Brown were the people and the students we met from all over the world. Of course, there were some people that were not as enthusiastic being there, but they don't matter. The friends I made were amazing and each one had a special talent. There was a champion jump-roper, a chef, a lifeguard and a swimming instructor among other things. Lina, from Massachusetts, and I shared a passion for immigrant justice. Though we both on the opposites of the United States, it goes to show that distance has no role in social justice. We often talked about the DREAM Act, something we feel needs to be passed. We each are doing this type of work through similar organizations at school. This was one of the many bonds I had during my stay.

I do agree that my experience was indeed life-changing. However, I think in order for my summer at Brown to become an integral part of my leadership style and thought-process, I must constantly reflect back on what I learned and utilize the skills I gained in class. There have been many times where I've attend a class or workshop specialized to teach a life-long skill and yet they do not find a good way to maintain the sustainability of the skills obtained. Women and Leadership, though, practically places these skills in our hands and shows us where to go. What a better way to hone our skills than through an Action Plan?

My Action Plan consists of holding workshops focused on college-readiness geared toward underclassmen in my school. Coming from experience, there were few workshops held about college when I was a freshman and it made my sophomore year confusing when it came to prepping for tests, financial aid, and classes. Though there are workshops held at school, I do not think they are I want to reach every student in the school and hopefully, be able to increase the percentage of students graduating and attending college with the collaborative work of other college-prep programs. I hope to do so with the newly acquired skills I learned.

My task now is to contribute to my community on what I learned on the east coast. I will continue to pursue my passions; I will continue to be an active and concerned member at my school; I will continue to lead others; I will continue to do the best that I possibly can.

Brown is not Dull -- Brown is Beautiful.

I woke up with a heavy heart. Today was our last day at Brown University. Everyone in the class was special to me in a unique way. I would miss Kisa, My (our leadership fellow) and every single one of the young ladies that I bonded with. The growth I achieved from being in this leadership class is more than I have gained in my entire life thus far. So with a sorrow for leaving Brown but a joy for learning so much, I left for class.

My roommate, Kristi! 

My awesome friend, Tierra and I! 

From Durham, North Carolina, Erica! 

The more, the merrier! 

We did not do any workshops or lectures today. Instead, we were told to write a letter to ourselves that would be sent to our homes near December. The purpose was to remind ourselves of what we learned during the summer course and to apply to our daily lives; we didn’t want this to be something we would forget. So I wrote to myself and hopefully by the time I get the letter, I will not have forgotten the priceless things I learned about women and leadership. As I’ve said time and time again, Summer@Brown was a life-changing experience. 

Writing

My, Kisa and Selene

Class Picture! 

We continued on with writing positive comments about each person in our class. Every person in the course was special to me in some way or another. I made it a goal to write something different for each person that related their presence to me. There is so much I learned from the other girls. Their cultures, their histories, their backgrounds, all contributed to my understanding of diversity. I underestimated what diversity is and now I know that it does not only mean a difference in race and socioeconomic status, but also a difference in childhood, beliefs, and ethics among other things. 

Looking back at what I've learned in class, I realized many things. Real learning does not take place as memorizing facts, dates and books; learning is taken from life experience. We learned about life from a woman's point of view, not that it cannot only apply to women, but to everyone. Learning is taking a bit from every part of the world and implementing that into our daily lives. We've had that very concept integrated into our course this summer. As I will use in my presentation today, "Education is not a preparation for life; education is life itself." This quote, by the American philosopher John Dewey, inspired me to think about what education genuinely is. It describes our experience at Brown perfectly and I know that I finally found some closure to our class on the East Coast. 

Discussing in class

My proud friend hailing from Chicago, Trina. She was an inspiration to me.

The leadership fellow from our class, My (as in Me but spelled differently) and Kristi. We were being silly

My was such a great person! We all bonded with her

Just thought I'd like for everyone to know what snacking at Brown while studying for two weeks ends up being... 

We concluded the last class and headed for lunch. I spent my lunch working on my Action Plan to polish it off. I was a bit nervous about my presentation, but I knew that if it didn’t go as well as I wanted, I would only learn from it. Life is about making mistakes, and if I mess up, it’s okay. I have plenty of time to learn. I kept in mind that my confidence and public speaking skills have improved considerably since day one and I would be fine. With those thoughts in mind, I left for our presentations. 

Dean Rose welcomed everyone to the Leadership presentations. I loved how she integrated all we’ve learned into her speech -- she was very inspiring. We finally split into groups and I was to be presenting to Dean Rose herself. As usual, I was a bit jittery before I presented but I managed to get through it. It was now or never. 

Dean Rose introducing the Action Plan Presentations

All in all, it went well and I was very pleased that Dean Rose told me I did an awesome job and I articulated myself very well. She said I did better than most, but being very hard on myself, I found this comment surprising but joyful and I appreciated it very much. When it comes to presenting, the saying, “practice makes perfect” comes to mind. With experience, it becomes less and less difficult to talk in front of a large audience. I will make sure to push myself when I present so I can become a better leader for all. 

Afterward, we met on the Main Green on campus and took final pictures with our new friends and professors. Although the weather was raining on our parade (literally, except for the parade part since there was no parade obviously), it did not stop us from our good-byes and departures. It was sad to see some friends leaving already; I felt like we each had a special bond with each other. We’ve grown not individually, but together, interlaced with our experiences, passions, mistakes, doubts and most importantly, our hearts. We’ve each taken to each other in a special way. 

Dean Rose, Irene and I 

Groupies

Kisa and I 

- - - - -

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." -Anais Nin

In the last few hours, we spent the rest of the time we had just hanging around with our friends. I already packed the night before so I made sure to spend those last few moments with our friends. We made one last run to Thayer Street to buy any things we needed or just wanted. One by one, friends started to leave until there was only a few of us left. Finally, it was time for us to leave and I was so sad to leave everything: my friends, the dorms, my roommate and even the weather (Although I kept complaining about the humidity, I have to say, I am going to miss warm nights in Providence). I looked back at the campus and said my final good-bye. For now. 

At the train station, leaving

We spent the night in Boston and had one final dinner together as the Ivy League Connections Brown Session II group. Ms. Stewart very generously treated us for dinner that night and I was so grateful. I looked around the table with all of our ILC members and although I was happy, inside I was sad that our time in the East Coast was almost up. Tomorrow morning, we would fly back to San Francisco. Back to home. So I made sure to make the most of our last night in Boston. I know I did, so I’m glad about that. 

Our room at the Hilton 

The view from the hotel window on the ninth floor

And so, I finish this blog with a spirit of joy. I am happy to have been in this program. I am happy to have learned so much. I happy to have met so many amazing people. 

I am happy.

Good-bye, East Coast!

I Surprised Myself

When I first came into this program, I thought that I was really open-minded. However, I slowly realized that the Women and Leadership program at Brown would challenge me intellectually and emotionally more than I had thought it would, and make me even more understanding of all kinds of diversity.

I thought I had my mind mostly made up on what feminism was and what leadership was, but we attacked these issues from all possible angles, and Kisa let everyone come to their own conclusions. All the professors, the TAs, the RAs, the Leadership Fellows, the staff, and the students were so approachable. Nobody ever told us, "this is the way it is because I said so," or "this is the way it is because it's written in a textbook." I really love that way of learning. As Mercedes Domenech said, in the end it doesn't matter so much what you're learning as long as you expand your horizons and learn how to see the world in a different light. I was surprised about the program and about myself in the best way possible.

I also realized that I can't be a "supergirl." I can't be perfect and I can't do everything perfectly, but I can certainly try. I will try. If I make a mistake I won't dwell on it, but learn from it. I will concentrate on doing what I love, whether it's skating, playing clarinet, or leading a community organization.

~Kisa gave us bracelets with inspirational words on them. Mine says "lead."~

I teared up so many times on the last day of class. Two weeks seemed much too short. I would be so incredibly happy if I could go back and learn in that environment again. Before this program, I never would have seriously considered applying to Brown, but now I will definitely apply to Brown and other highly selective universities.

I learned that there are still obstacles for women and for many other groups of people in the world, but that the final barrier to success is always one's own self-confidence.

If I believe in myself and others, and believe in our dreams, I'll surprise myself yet again. Thank you to everyone who made this experience possible for me.

Second to Last Day of Class and Self Defense

Today went by very quickly as now I am considering how this whole trip went. It is kind of sad to think that I only have one remaining day here at Brown University for this summer.

Well, today for class we had a pretty interesting day of practicing our Action Plans and dealing with ethical situations and the kinds of decisions we would make in every single one of them. We practiced our Action Plans in small groups, in my group there were only two other people, Lindsey and Cara. It was fun to practice our Action Plans and get some feedback from our group members. 

Afterwards, in the same groups, we went into a discussion of six different situations where our ethics might be compromised. Most situations were basically of things people of our same age group could go through. For most of the situations I had a very clear grasp of what specifically I would have done, but for others I had to really think about it and the effects it would have.

Afterwards, Kisa informed us, just before we were dismissed for lunch, that afterwards we would be participating in a self-defense session. Kisa did not come with us to the session but My did and it was absolutely great. I really learned and it kind of encouraged me, like our instructor said, to seek a place to learn the techniques more in detail and so I could learn to master them. She personally said she has never really had to get so physical with anybody as to have to use the techniques she teaches. 

By the way, she teaches all of this here at Brown in two different kinds of sessions one is a twelve hour one. I liked the fact she was really open to our questions and gladly answered them. She also encouraged us to think up situations so that she could explain ways to get out of it. We practiced our defensive positions, shielding, punching, kicking, screaming, and combinations. We had to practice with her near the end and as always the entire class encouraged everyone.

After class I returned to Harkness to finish the details of my Action Plan and to get ready for the party that Harkness would be holding as a goodbye for everyone leaving. I had fun and it was terrific to spend time with my classmates once more out of class!

Ethics, Hip-Hop, and Self-Defense

The ethics discussion that we ran out of time for yesterday was moved to today. We were presented with multiple ethical dilemmas and acted out how to deal with them in an effective, assertive way. I definitely think that the solutions were easier said than done.

I practiced presenting my Action Plan to a small group of classmates. They gave me feedback on the content and the delivery. I still need to give my presentation its final revision and copy some bullet points onto index cards.

Mariana and Ritika

I ate lunch extra quickly so that I could go back to class to see a short film about hypermasculinity in hip-hop. Most of the aggression in the lyrics is focused against other people who are suffering, not necessarily the oppressors. There is blatant objectification of women in the music, and it's different from the rest of American culture in that that's the only way that women are portrayed in hip-hop music videos. The worst insult against another man in hiphop is to tell them that they are feminine, yet there is some not-so-subtle homoeroticism in the way rappers often pose. I was getting very interested in it because I had never heard some of these views before, but unfortunately, we didn't get to finish the film. Hopefully we'll be able to finish it tonight at the evening social activity.

Tierra blocks "punches"

We had an interesting self-defense class in which we learned some basic techniques to defend ourselves and buy some time if we were physically threatened. We got some time to practice these techniques and hone our reaction times, too.

Ritika in action

The amazing RA and TA, My

I'm going to eat quickly and then see if I can take a nap before the evening activity. I'm exhausted.

~Later~

I didn't end up taking a nap, but I did finish two homework assignments and went to dinner. I'm going to revise my Action Plan and practice presenting for tomorrow, then go to the final socializing event - a dance/movie/game night/snack party, which is all one big event. It's exclusive to Leadership Institute students, and since Harkness (our dorm) is the only dorm for Leadership kids, it's taking place in the two lounges downstairs.

Just 15 minutes ago, I was in our last class bonding activity. We played a special game where  everyone closed their eyes except two people. My would say things like, "Touch three people who you respect and admire." We took turns being the people in the middle. I never knew that so many people appreciated me enough to tell me, even though it was anonymously and silently. I feel so much closer to all the girls now. It was just really cool. I can't imagine not keeping in touch with them after I leave.

A Breakthrough In My Thinking

We finished presenting the Amazing Women monologues today. My presentation went well - I felt like my legs were shaking the whole time, but I asked people later and nobody noticed at all. The other students asked several questions after my monologue about Rigoberta Menchu; I think her story came across as unique and interesting. Dean Rose came in as we were discussing the  Amazing Women as a group and asked what we had learned from their experiences. I volunteered my belief that they all pushed past both external and internal obstacles, and that the internal hurdle of self-confidence is the most important to conquer.

Kisa brought in a panel of professional women, which was very diverse. Their professions ranged from educators to doctors to leaders of community organizing groups. One of the women was rather soft-spoken, and I was almost surprised that someone quiet could be a successful leader. It was great to have role models that everybody in the room could relate to. Another brought her five-year-old daughter in and said that child-rearing was much harder than any career. Even those that did not have children said that it's important to stay connected to people that are important to you, such as mentors, family, and friends in order to keep a balanced life.

Today at 12:15, Lucero, Lupe, Lydia, Selene, and I made our way to the V-Dub. This was because last week, we (the ILC students at Brown) had arranged to have lunch with Mercedes Domenech of the Brown Admissions Department. We had met her 2 times before at ILC events, and she offered to answer any questions about the University or about admissions that we had. We learned more about the interviewing process and how students are selected. What stuck out was how she emphasized taking challenging courses in high school not just because they would look impressive, but because if we got accepted to Brown,  we wouldn't have distribution requirements or any required classes at all (excepting majors). Senior year is our last chance to show how much we love learning.

Mercedes also emphasized how important it is to study what you love even if it might not seem like it leads to a concrete career path. For example, Ruth Simmons, President of Brown University, holds a Ph.D. in French. Who would have projected her position now with her chosen field of study? Mercedes got me to think about how it doesn't matter as much what I choose to study, as long as I am educated in something and I know how to think and analyze. Undergraduate majors that are very specific are actually limiting because people may change their minds even if they initially think they're set on something.

I still have to finish my Action Plan paper and polish my Action Plan presentation, conduct another interview with a fellow student, catch up on my journal assignments for the past week, and meet with Ms. Stewart at 7 about the logistics of our departure. It's sad that we're already talking about leaving. In some ways I miss my family and others who are close to me, but in other ways I fear missing my friends, teachers, and mentors at Brown even more.

There's Always Someone There to Help

Today was the first day of the Amazing Women monologues. Everybody did very well, and we supported everyone if they felt nervous at all. Through listening, I learned things that I never knew before - for example, that Mother Teresa was Albanian by ethnicity and that Mary Wollstonecraft experienced all kinds of abuse at the hands of various men in her life.

We watched a film called about women in politics today, which brought attention to the shocking dilemma of the low numbers of women in national public office. The United States ranks 85th in the world in terms of female representatives, while developing countries such as Rwanda and Chile are making astonishing improvements with gender equality in political representation. Although Rwanda suffered through a devastating genocide in 1994, it has made great political and economic advances in recent years. 

Why hasn't the United States made such improvements? Jeanne Sheehan, former governor of New Hampshire and current US Senator, told her interviewer that she sees what's happening in other countries but that she believes change at home will happen slowly but surely. Anna Hidalgo, a former TA for Women and Leadership, led a debriefing after the film and urged us repeatedly to consider running for political office in the future. She told us that it is very hard to run for office, and that there's a 98% rate of success for incumbents, but that the biggest obstacle for women in public service is not the outside world, but their own lack of self-confidence. About 2/3 of men rate themselves as having basic leadership qualities, but women consistently rate themselves lower though they may have these qualities already.

Personally, I am very interested in political science, and I took her suggestions into serious consideration.

Here are two youth leaders named Kakeena Castro and Susan Anderson after their presentation to us. They introduced us to their organization, Youth in Action, which advocates for youth rights in the Providence area. They showed us a "Youth Bill of Rights", which asserted that, among various things, all youth should have access to free health care, healthy and enjoyable school lunches, a voice in the selection of their teachers and administration, and affordable public transportation. I agree with all those points. I wouldn't say that decisions should be left to youth and only to youth, but  I believe that we should be allowed to have input which should be valued by adults. Kisa serves on their joint adult-youth board and they stressed the importance of finding and utilizing mentors who can help you every step of the way. It opened my eyes to the fact that there's always someone there to help. I'm very glad that I heard these two women present.

After class, I went to the Partner Scholars gathering for Summer@Brown students who came here on a scholarship or with a group. It was lots of fun - we ate pizza while we asked questions of the 4 panelists who were all first-generation college students. I met Mo, who I believe is a Leadership Fellow here, and Soyoung, who is a student like me.

Pizza and Women in Politics!!

Class has gone great, today we had another very interesting day. It was lots of fun as always to contribute our perspectives on the issues and topics we talk about. As on most days, today we had a couple of guest speakers one of which was Anna Hidalgo, a Brown Alumni and an old participant of the Women and Leadership course.

Ms. Hidalgo came to class to present to us a video, from PBS's show called "Now" on Women, Power, and Politics, and then an analysis of it and how it relates to our lives as women today. The movie concentrated on the topic of women in politics. The movie was interesting and brought to my attention how even though the U.S. is considered an advanced nation it has fallen behind when it comes to women participation in government. The U.S., according to the video, is ranked 69th in the percentage of women holding office, which according to Ms. Hidalgo we found has become worse because now we are the 85th. 

In the movie we got a good analysis of the ex president of Chile who was a woman and her perspective on the issue of women involvement in politics. In addition, we got to see the great progress of an African nation after its genocide and how in its parliament women form almost half of the representatives. It was very impressive to see how a nation that not long ago was devastated to such a great degree rose back and progressed in such a great aspect. There, women involved in politics are not put down or viewed wrongly because they believe in a woman's ability to lead and make important decisions. Additionally, they understand the great contributions that women make to society. 

In the movie, we also got to see a girls debate competition and its participant's view on the subject of being an unspoken woman. Moreover, we got the chance to see the campaign efforts of a New Hampshire Senator as she ran for office. Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin were also mentioned in the film. What all the women shared in this video was the determination to represent and share their opinions with the world.

After, the video was over we got into a little discussion of the issues and themes that it presented. One very interesting thing that Ms. Hidalgo said while she was speaking to us is that for a woman it is necessary to hear the words, "run for office," or something along those lines, at least six/seven times for them to listen. Therefore, throughout the time she spent with us she told us that around four times and Kisa told us once. I guess we all just need around one or more of these encouragements and we will be off for mayor or something (according to her fact). In addition, Ms. Hidalgo mentioned what exactly is viewed or criticized in women politicians. She mentioned how a lot of attention is placed on their wardrobe and femininity. 

The time passed and it turned out that today we went for lunch at around 12:20 PM instead of 12:00 PM. Nevertheless, it was well worth it.

After lunch time, we had two more guest speakers, this time from Youth in Action, a non-profit organization from Providence. They spoke to us about their organization and its history. In addition, they went into detail on some of their actions and goals. To me this organization sounds like a really active one, but it is only located here in Providence. One of my classmates spoke about beginning another one of these organizations in Chicago, which to me does not sound bad at all. One speaker said that they would surely gladly aid if that became the case. According, to what they told us the organization really aims to help youth in different manners from expression to activism.

Class ended around 3:30 PM as always. Today, however, there was an event planned just for students like us, the ILC, that came here to Brown through some program. It was great to meet a couple of new people, eat pizza, and speak to first generation students as many of us are. The Brown students that were present told us a bit about themselves and their history. Afterwards, we were divided up into three different groups in which one or two of the students answered some of the questions we had asked through index cards when we had first arrived. The student who lead the group I was on was coincidentally from San Leandro, California! She was really nice and informative, just as Ryan, one of the organizers of the Leadership academy, and the other college grads in the room.

More to come later!!

If you want to see the video that we watched today in class follow the link below:

http://www.pbs.org/now/shows/437/index.html

Another Fun, Busy Day

We started out the day by discussing the weekend's readings. We began in small groups and moved on to a discussion with the entire group. Kisa asked for a volunteer to facilitate the entire group, but I didn't raise my hand because I had just run our small group meeting. Just my luck - since nobody raised their hand at all, Kisa immediately chose me. I grinned and went up to the front of the class. The discussion went extremely well; I asked several open-ended questions and just directed the flow of conversation towards people who hadn't spoken up much before. Kisa stopped us when we ran out of time, and later she joked that I should be the one running the class!

Later we watched a short film in which young black children were shown two dolls - one black, one white - and asked to choose which one was better behaved, smarter, and prettier. In 15 out of 21 cases, the children picked the white doll. The clip illustrated how stereotypes become internalized both by those who are stereotyped and the rest of society.

The rest of class time was spent at the computer stations about a block away from our classroom. I finished all of my monologue, and I only have to rehearse to make sure that it's smooth. I learned a lot more about Rigoberta Menchu. I never knew that Spanish wasn't actually her first language, though she lived in Guatemala. She was Mayan, so she learned an indigenous dialect before Spanish. It shows that even if you have language barriers, you should still believe in yourself and your dreams. It was very nice to be able to use the practically new computers just by logging in with my Brown ID. I also quickly met with Kisa in order to go over my Action Plan once again. She thought it was a great idea, and I can't wait to present my idea to the panel on Friday. The whole process of research, preparation, and presentation will be exciting!

The evening activity consisted of watching a movie called "Iron Jawed Angels" about the women's suffrage movement. The pictures above show us getting ready to walk to the movie.

The movie was lots of fun. The soundtrack didn't seem to go with the movie, but it really brought my attention to how much the early women's rights pioneers truly struggled to gain what we have now. It's striking that only about 60-70% of women now utilize those rights to actually vote. I think that everyone who can should try to participate fully in our democracy.

When I was about to take a shower, I realized that I was almost out of clean clothes. I didn't want to forget to do laundry tomorrow, so I went down to the basement with Selene so that we could combine our loads. Unfortunately, the card reader connected to the washing machines was broken. We tried going into other dorms to do our laundry there, but we couldn't get in, and anyways the people who lived there said that their card readers were broken too. So we scrounged and exchanged money with people to finally get enough change to wash and dry two loads.

Today was a very productive yet enjoyable day. I hope tomorrow is just as good.

Action Plan, Monologue, Pizza, What Else Could There Be?

So much goes on in one day at Brown. For example, today I decided to sleep in for a bit so that I could rest a bit more. When the time came and I knew if I slept even a little bit more I would be late I woke up. Plus, I had to go to the library to go print out a summary of an interview I had conducted.

I walked all the way to and fro the Rockefeller Library where there are printers. Each black and white copy costs ten cents, not a bad price. The hard part of printing was figuring out how to do it. The librarian, one of the lady's on the front desk, and another nice woman who was printing where of great help. In the end, I was able to print and so I headed for class.

In class, we had discussions concerning our first interview and the assigned reading. Previous to the discussion Kisa, the professor, passed back our journals, which she had looked over and commented.

After our discussions we headed to the the CIT, Center Information Technology, so that we could use the computer for whatever we needed. Some people decided to work on their monologue, others their action plan. At the same time, that we were at the CIT we had to meet with Kisa in regards to our Action Plan.

We spent a great deal of time in the CIT, which was really awesome. They had both PC's and Mac's so that people could use them. When lunch came around we realized it had begun to rain, so we had to cancel our plans to go to the V-Dub and instead we had to go to the Sharpe Refectory. We all got a bit wet, some of us were not wearing the correct shoes or clothes and some of us did not even have an umbrella on us.

Once I went to see Kisa, she really questioned what I am planning to do, which really helped me identify the aspects that I still need to work on.

Class ended so I headed back to the dorms and started a bit of my reading assignment while it came time for our evening activity, which was to go watch "Iron Jawed Angels." The movie was only going to be shown to the Women and Leadership students because the other students in the leadership academy were going to watch their own movie depending on their class. For example, my friend Vanessa, was going to watch "Food Inc." because of her class called Food Fights. I also went to dinner and it was a blast. I even met a girl named Rebecca, or becca as she prefers. She told us all about herself and we introduced ourselves. She apparently will only be here for a week and today was her first day in class.

After dinner we only waited for a bit as 6:20 PM came and it was time to meet in front of Harkness in order to go watch the movie. I really liked the movie and it showed clearly the struggle of women to get the right to vote. In addition it showed the cruelty of peoples' response to this idea, especially that of men. I really disliked how the women were treated in prison and how the police completely abused of their power. They were incorrectly charged because they were not distracting traffic they were expressing their point of view. However, in the end it was great to hear that their efforts and sacrifices were worth it and women could vote.

When, the movie finished we went back to the dorm and as I was beginning to think about doing my reading, Irene came by and asked if I needed to do laundry. I really needed to and even though I was waiting for Vanessa to come back, so I could get my laptop from her room and do my blog, I left. I decided to ask Diana if she could please do me the favor of getting my laptop for me and then I would come and pick it up.

The only dilemma we faced for doing laundry was that the card reading machine was out of order, so we had to use quarters. In the end, we were able to get enough quarters. As we washed I read and had a conversation with Alexa, Irene's little sister.

For now I have to go to sleep so until next time!!

Food, Shopping, Library, Food, Meeting, and Interview

The title of my blog today pretty much sums my day up. I woke up pretty late, so I missed breakfast, on purpose, I really wanted to rest and plus after a week of pasta, potato, and bread you can get full. Now I am both seeing and realizing what Session One Brownies were talking about. Seriously, I am kind of getting tired of the food, but then again I have been eating the same thing everyday for the past seven or so days. It isn't that the food quality diminished it is more like my appetite is the one that is diminishing. I will start eating a more healthy diet instead of all those carbohydrates.

Continuing onto a more pleasant subject, I went to the library today more specifically the Rockefeller Library. It was huge with tons and maybe in reality tons of books. It was amazing and awing to walk through those aisles and see that all around me where books and more books. It was really quiet inside which gave it a much more studious feeling like all library's I have been to. The reason for my trip was not only to check it out, but in order to find some sources for my woman monologue project. The woman that I chose to do this project on is Dolores Huerta, who worked side by side with Cesar Chavez. She is not that well known, even though her contributions to the cause made an immense impact in the lives of agricultural workers today and that of future generations as well. Even though the library was pretty big the online catalog really helped me find the books I needed. The librarians, one of which I asked for help, was really nice and approachable person. She generously directed me towards the location of the book I sought. I spent quiet a long time there. I had initially arrived with Bianchi, but later joined up with Irene, Guadalupe, and Lucero. It took me some time to find the material I sought and some extra time to look over the books. While I was helping Guadalupe look for a book on Hispanics because she was looking for information on Sonia Sotomayor, which there was barely any to be exact Guadalupe only found one book. It is kind of weird because after all she is on the Supreme Court. Moving along at the library I took the time to call my teacher, Teresa Boardman, in order to schedule some time for me to interview her for a class project. She gladly agreed and we scheduled it for tonight. Then we, Lucero, Guadalupe, Irene, and I, headed for dinner at the V-Dub.

At the V-Dub we met up with Lydia, Vanessa, Diana, and Bianchi. Our dinner conversation was quiet entertaining and fun. However, then someone noticed that it was 6:45 PM and we had a meeting with our RA at 7:00 PM. We, Vanessa, Diana, Lucero, and I, bolted out the dining hall towards our dorm. We seriously hurried and fortunately got to our respective floors on time, which was 6:57 PM. That was really close timing. My meeting started late though because we had a three people come late and we needed everyone present.

Once at the meeting we all discussed our week, through the game Roses and Thorns. As can be assumed roses symbolize the pluses of the week and thorns the negatives. After, everyone got their turn we answered six questions which also pertained to our week. We answered the questions anonymously and then we read someone else's paper without knowing whose it was. Our RA, Priya listened carefully and asked questions and comments concerning the responses. She emphasized, due to the fact that some people reported feeling little support during free time, the need for us to be inclusive. From what people wrote and talked about they really are looking forward to having fun, like I am too. I am also thinking about my Action Plan which is due this week! After, the meeting Priya handed me an envelope and inside was an invitation for an event for the students that like I are here because of some program. The Ivy League Connection was actually listed as one of the programs, which is so cool. The event is to take place this Tuesday, so now I have plans for Tuesday too. I said "too" because on Wednesday we are to meet with Mercedes.

After, the meeting Lydia, Vanessa, Diana, Biachi, and I, went outside on the front lawn to study and hang out for a bit before curfew came. We ended up a bit worried because Vanessa got a bit sick, but luckily she got checked and everything was apparently well.

I then returned to my room to call my teacher back in Richmond, California for the interview. Before we actually got to it we talked a bit and it was terrific. It was great to hear her and it was a great experience to interview her. The interview concerned her perspective on women and leadership and I loved her answers.

Well for now I am of to sleep!!

No Furniture So Charming as Books...

...is what Sydney Smith said about the library, where I spent most of my day today. It's not exactly the most fun one can do on a hot, sunny Sunday, but it was something I knew I had to do.

I had a nice full night's rest, something that has been hard to do during the weekend. The day was nice, so I headed out with my roommate, Kristi, to CVS to stock up on necessities. I'm very glad that stores are within walking distance on Thayer Street, which looks a lot like Telegraph Avenue by the UC Berkeley campus back home in California.

College life is becoming much easier to accustom myself to. Although I am not experiencing the entire college adventure just yet, I'm sampling a taste of it. I can't say that I'm not anxious to go to college, I really am, but at the same time, it's a bit frightening. Although you have the liberty to do as you please and go wherever you want, there are always consequences. The friends you meet, the places you go, the amount of work that you do are all all based on your own decisions. I guess it's just a matter of making the right choices; nobody wants to end up regretting something they did.

After lunch, Irene, Selene, Bianchi (our friend from New Orleans) and I headed to the Rockefeller library, as I mentioned in my earlier blog. The library was big and also very modern, unlike the dorms which are old and plain-looking. But hey who's complaining? People do not come to Brown for the dorms, but rather for its education.

One of the rooms in the library 

Looking around... 

Studying 

One of the many rows and rows of books. 

Reading is fun. 

It was rather rather difficult to find books on Sonia Sotomayor, something extremely surprising to me, seeing as it is an Ivy League library and yet, they don't contain a biography on a very prestigious woman. I even asked for help at the counter and no luck still. The only thing I found was a book about baseball and law. Sotomayor was involved with several situations in America's pastime sport, so at least one book was found. 

Gathering from my experience at the library, I can definitely say that research will be difficult to do once I am in college, especially if it means looking for something that is not well-known or rare to find. I hope I can learn how to effectively do research, especially if there are people willing to help me along in this transition of high school-level work to university-level work. Of course, it'll be my duty to look for these resources to utilize. 

On another note, I learned that I cannot use the extension cable Don gave us. I received a notification that extension cords are not allowed in residence halls by the health and safety inspector. There was no big issue, I just had to remove it immediately. I do not want to know what happens if I leave it connected. 

Another day, another night at Brown University.