I Surprised Myself

When I first came into this program, I thought that I was really open-minded. However, I slowly realized that the Women and Leadership program at Brown would challenge me intellectually and emotionally more than I had thought it would, and make me even more understanding of all kinds of diversity.

I thought I had my mind mostly made up on what feminism was and what leadership was, but we attacked these issues from all possible angles, and Kisa let everyone come to their own conclusions. All the professors, the TAs, the RAs, the Leadership Fellows, the staff, and the students were so approachable. Nobody ever told us, "this is the way it is because I said so," or "this is the way it is because it's written in a textbook." I really love that way of learning. As Mercedes Domenech said, in the end it doesn't matter so much what you're learning as long as you expand your horizons and learn how to see the world in a different light. I was surprised about the program and about myself in the best way possible.

I also realized that I can't be a "supergirl." I can't be perfect and I can't do everything perfectly, but I can certainly try. I will try. If I make a mistake I won't dwell on it, but learn from it. I will concentrate on doing what I love, whether it's skating, playing clarinet, or leading a community organization.

~Kisa gave us bracelets with inspirational words on them. Mine says "lead."~

I teared up so many times on the last day of class. Two weeks seemed much too short. I would be so incredibly happy if I could go back and learn in that environment again. Before this program, I never would have seriously considered applying to Brown, but now I will definitely apply to Brown and other highly selective universities.

I learned that there are still obstacles for women and for many other groups of people in the world, but that the final barrier to success is always one's own self-confidence.

If I believe in myself and others, and believe in our dreams, I'll surprise myself yet again. Thank you to everyone who made this experience possible for me.

The Grand Finale

Today was our last day at both Brown University and Providence, Rhode Island. These two weeks just flew by and now we are well on our way back to Boston to stay overnight so we can leave for California tomorrow, Saturday. It was so sad to say bye to all the new friends and people we met and were able to interact and learn with. I am really going to miss the other twenty two girls enrolled in the Women and Leadership course and plus the other people that I had the chance to meet.

I really felt comfortable in Providence and loved everything I was able to learn in the short time I got to spend here. Reflecting back to my initial worries about being away from home, I see that in the end it was that exact thing that allowed me to experience all that I did. I really had fun even when I had something to do every single day. However, not always were these things for my class, but a few times it was to socialize and get to know people more. You really have to balance academics, socializing, and fun out.

The closer we got to our departure date the less we wanted to hear about having to go our separate ways. By we I mean Bianchi, Diana, Vanessa, and the rest of my lovely friends. It seemed that the days slipped one by one and next thing we knew it was time for us all to go back home. Bianchi and Diana will return on Saturday afternoon to New Orleans and Vanessa went back to Massachusetts with her family, who came to pick her up. We all have to get back to our lives back home. Bianchi and Diana will have to start their junior year in high school at the International High School of New Orleans. Vanessa will be starting her senior year in high school. Even though we all went our distinct ways today, for sure there will always be the bond we formed here at Brown and the terrific adventures we had together.

Through the course work and different activities that were planned for the Leadership Institute these past two weeks were terrific!

We will have to stay at the Hilton Boston Logan Airport Hotel for the night. I wonder about the Internet access there -- hope there is some. Our last night in the East Coast!

Before we actually got to the goodbyes we all had to present our Action Plans'. My Action Plan was actually to create a blog in which one male and one female student can each give their perspective on issues such as the environment, laws, politics, etc. The purpose of this would be that that way through the blog other people, other youth in particular will have a chance to voice their opinion. By voicing their opinion we will help increase self-expression especially in adolescents who face a hard task in transforming from children to adults. Gaining all the responsibility can trouble and at times shut youth out from reality. They can become quiet and shy, unwilling to show the world what they really think. Even though I have this plan I feel like it might change in some of its aspects. I guess all we can do is wait and see.

“Every End is a New Beginning"

Indeed it is almost time to leave. I am very sad to be leaving Rhode Island and on Saturday, the East Coast. I've been so happy at Brown and I do not want to leave this campus. I can truly picture myself going here for college. But it's time to go back and utilize what we've learned here in our communities.

Action Plans are the most important thing we are focusing on right now. We split into several groups to practice our presentations, focusing on improvements from our fellow peers. It went well, but I realize that I still need to practice a lot more.

Although it may seem like an easy task to talk about the change you want to have in your community, speaking to a crowd it harder than it looks. It's hard to find out what to say when you can't ask your audience directly if they are bored, amused, irritated or content when you're up on the podium. But with the time I've had to practice, I've improved drastically and I can say that it will become easier over time to speak in front of a large audience.

My friend, Tierra, from New Orleans and I!

After the morning practice, we once again got into groups to discuss ethics. When faced with a difficult situation, what choice would you make? What actions and things what you do? Would it be the right or wrong thing? Are you aware of the consequences of our actions? These were some of the questions asked in several hypothetical situations given to us. 

For most of them, I could promptly make my decision while others took me some time to decide what I would do. Would I tell on my best friend that she was smoking on school property when it is illegal to do so? Or would I sympathize with her because she's going through a rough phase in her life? This I was a bit more hesitant about answering, but I finally decided that I would leave her with a warning with a caution that if she were to do it again, I would talk to the principal. Overall, I think I made the right choices. Maybe I couldn't please everyone, but I chose to do what was best for everyone in the situation. 

Leadership is not mean you have to please everyone, but rather it is making a decision and sticking with it until you follow through. It means not being passive, not being aggressive, but being assertive. Consider others before making a final decision but also be decisive about your own ideas as well. 

After lunch, we had a self-defense class which I was really excited about. Michelle was the instructor and she showed several types of moves we can use when we are in a dangerous situation. 

I learned a lot through the program and Michelle mentioned that she has never had to use self-defense in a very dangerous situation. She said that after people take the class, they have a new layer of confidence that can be seen from the outside. Observing her, I could see what she meant and I knew that a guy would not want to mess with her. The empowerment that women obtain through these types of programs are amazing and it encourages them to become women of authority, even in their own survival. 

I've taken a self-defense class for a while at Richmond High School on Fridays through PE. It was only a short-term integrated course and I wish it was longer. However, I will look into self-defense classes once I get back home to take over the year. 

During the evening, we had a final social event, specifically for our house: Harkness House. There was a dance (which I thought would have been nice, but trying to fit 60+ kids in a small, stuffy lounge results in a hot and sweaty room and an unpleasant musty odor.) and a games room in the other lounge. We ended up playing Apples to Apples with several of our Brownie friends. 

It's sad to see everything coming to a close, but the show must go on. I will miss my new friends terribly and hopefully I will see them again one day in the future. My Action Plan is be presented tomorrow and I am both excited and anxious for it. I have prepared myself for this moment. 

On the good side, I am almost done packing! There's no procrastination for me. 

(Pictures will be up tomorrow. The internet is taking so long!) 

Party at Harkness!

Oh god. The second to last day is over. This means that tomorrow may very well be the last day I ever see some of these amazing people again.

It has been an incredible experience, meeting all these people and really growing as a person. I don’t even really want to write about it, just because that means it’s becoming a reality, and I don’t want to accept it!

Tomorrow is the real presentation of our Action Plans, but I think I’m confident enough in my Plan that I can handle the presentation and any questions that are thrown at me.

We had a dance tonight in celebration of our last night in Harkness. I’ll miss this place more than I can possibly imagine, even the lack of air conditioning and the bad food.

Wish me luck!

Entertaining Way of Learning

We started off the class by breaking down into small groups so we could present our Action Plans. I was in a group with Bianchi, Ritika, and Tierra. I was the first to go up and give my presentation. 

After I was done they gave me suggestions on how to improve it. Being able to practice in front of some of my peers was really helpful. I benefited greatly from the advice and I plan on working on it when I'm presenting tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about presenting, but I'm also looking forward to it.

Once we were all done presenting, we met back inside the classroom and finished the activity on Ethics. We were given scenarios in where we had to decide as a group what the person should do. It was really interesting to hear different responses from everyone. There were some that didn't consider some things that bad, while others completely disagreed.

After lunch was over, we had a very fun activity. We were taught some skills on self-defense! It was really great. I learned how to defend myself if I am attacked. However, the instructor told us that there are times when it would be smarter to just give in instead of trying to resist. It would be completely illogical, if we fought someone with a weapon. We would be putting our life in jeopardy.

It was exciting to get to scream, kick, and punch. It was a very fun activity, but with a serious purpose to it. I really liked it. I got really excited when it came to scream "NO!" that my throat hurts me now.

Since I still had my books from the Rockefeller Library, I went with Thara and Guadalupe to return them. We were initially planning on taking them all the way back to the Rockefeller Library, but then Christine my RA told us that we could return them in the Science Library. It was much closer.

Sadly, we only have tomorrow here in Providence so I decided to go to the Book Store and get a Brown t-shirt. I was with Guadalupe, Thara, and Heidi. After we were done buying our shirts, we headed off to CVS so Thara could buy some sandals. Then the clock turned to 5 PM and we all felt hungry. We decided to go eat some Thai food. It was the first time I had ever tried Thai food and it was really good. I liked it.

After we were all full, we returned to out dorms. I practiced my Action Plan presentation and finished my interview assignment. Time went by so fast that before I knew it, it was 7:00. All the girls in the Women and Leadership class had another mandatory meeting.

The activity was really interesting. We all had to close our eyes, while My would read directions on what to do. There would be two people who would touch us if they felt that the statement said applied to us. It was really touching to see how close we all have become.

At 9:30 PM we had some activities in our building. There was a dance going on in one side and games on the other. I ended up playing a game with the girls. It was fun. Plus we ended up getting Ben and Jerry's and pizza. It was a really fun day. It makes me sad to think that it will all soon be over.

Second to Last Day of Class and Self Defense

Today went by very quickly as now I am considering how this whole trip went. It is kind of sad to think that I only have one remaining day here at Brown University for this summer.

Well, today for class we had a pretty interesting day of practicing our Action Plans and dealing with ethical situations and the kinds of decisions we would make in every single one of them. We practiced our Action Plans in small groups, in my group there were only two other people, Lindsey and Cara. It was fun to practice our Action Plans and get some feedback from our group members. 

Afterwards, in the same groups, we went into a discussion of six different situations where our ethics might be compromised. Most situations were basically of things people of our same age group could go through. For most of the situations I had a very clear grasp of what specifically I would have done, but for others I had to really think about it and the effects it would have.

Afterwards, Kisa informed us, just before we were dismissed for lunch, that afterwards we would be participating in a self-defense session. Kisa did not come with us to the session but My did and it was absolutely great. I really learned and it kind of encouraged me, like our instructor said, to seek a place to learn the techniques more in detail and so I could learn to master them. She personally said she has never really had to get so physical with anybody as to have to use the techniques she teaches. 

By the way, she teaches all of this here at Brown in two different kinds of sessions one is a twelve hour one. I liked the fact she was really open to our questions and gladly answered them. She also encouraged us to think up situations so that she could explain ways to get out of it. We practiced our defensive positions, shielding, punching, kicking, screaming, and combinations. We had to practice with her near the end and as always the entire class encouraged everyone.

After class I returned to Harkness to finish the details of my Action Plan and to get ready for the party that Harkness would be holding as a goodbye for everyone leaving. I had fun and it was terrific to spend time with my classmates once more out of class!

Hammer fist

I just came back from the closing floor meeting and about to go to a good-bye dance party with Ben and Jerry’s ice cream!

The closing was a game where we would all sit in the chairs formed in a circle with our eyes closed. Two of the girls would tap someone or people in the group that matched the description My read. For an example, she asked the girls to tap someone who you believe in and tap four people who you really respect. This activity really touched me. I did not know some people viewed me in some ways.

Before that, the class had a self-defense course for the afternoon session. I really enjoyed this class because it involved physical activity and yelling. We learned different punches (one which was called the hammer fist) and kicks and how to deal when someone is trying to choke us, pull us away, and has us in a bear hug.

In the morning session I practiced my action plan in front of a small group in class. Their feedback was to slow down.

I cannot believe that tomorrow is my last day at Brown!

I am off to a fun but probably sad good-bye dance party.